Naturally Disastrous

2007-01-21T09:25:00.000+08:00

Had a stroke of luck. For some reason I couldn't take time off Friday the week before (I don't have any off days) so I took it on Sunday instead.

We were planning to visit the night safari (us being wild animals and all, how nice to see our friends of the furry kind) but I got a call from Dickhead* my brother to attend his girl's farewell party instead. Ai is returning to Tokyo. Had enough of Lah lah land I reckon. I'm so jealous. Humph!

Nice party that. Loads of pizza and KFC.

I was having loadsa fun with my little bird's camera. That's when I decided to sell Waffles away. The dumb piece of #@#^&%... .

Everyone ready?

Ya mon... hur hur hur...

Ok, ready!

Everyone hide! They're coming!

(It's getting a bit old but) SURPRISE!

Like, I sooo didn't expect this, uh huh, how original you guys!

Yum... NOT.

Woohoo! Presents!

What can be more Japanese than a "V" sign in photos, eh?

Woo! I'm so gonna get some sugar tonight!

Wheeeeeee!!!

Yum. Really.

Thanks for coming guys, we love you. Sayonara!

* No, really, everyone calls him that.

PS: Pssst. Goat guys go to heaven. Ssssh.

2007-01-17T10:09:00.000+08:00

Wanna get rid of some stuff so check out my eBay.

2007-01-15T08:02:00.000+08:00

Someone got me a fluffy goat coz someone said his fat tummy reminded her of me. Harrrumph!
His name is Booger by the way and oh, the tiny thing on his lap is his pet goat, Belly my brother gave me.

2007-01-09T07:04:00.000+08:00

So these days I've had to put on my belt one eyelet looser.

I'm getting fat but my little bird said she doesn't mind, coz that way other girls won't find me attractive and she gets to keep me all to herself. I almost heard an evil laughter after she told me that, haha.

Sounds good(!) except that I'm gonna have to get new cargo pants coz my butt won't fit into jeans anymore.

2007-01-07T06:58:00.000+08:00

Objective: Mad Jack Cafe (Jalan Kayu)
D-day: Friday, 050107
H-hour: 2030hrs
Rating: 7 billy goats

From now on, my little bird and I will decide ourselves if a movie is a must-watch or not, or whether a certain book is a good read or not, or if a food establishment is worth going to or not, that sort of thing.

Despite what we have read prior to our visit to Mad Jack at Jalan Kayu with the rest of the gang, we thought it wasn't really as bad as we thought it'd be. We're speaking for ourselves but. Maybe the branch at Bukit Timah is the one that sucks, I don't know.

So anyway, Mad Jack Jalan Kayu it was, Halal-certified and all.

If you've lived in Singapore long enough, you'd think the service at this place was actually good. You wouldn't wanna spoil it by asking for more.

Like my little bird's cousin said in her blog, it's nice that it has a soccer table and a play area for kids going on in there, but man, what a place to put each of them! The soccer table was between two pillars and the play area was in the corridor that leads to the washroom! Weird.

Ok that little gunk in pink is supposed to be my little mouse, Nadiah (Ratna's kid). Has she grown up since the last time I saw her? NAH.

Overall, the ambience was actually good, surprisingly. Before we came we kinda had a picture in our heads that painted a really awful-looking place of one of the lowest class but it turned out to be quite alright for a mid-range establishment.

"Like ya know, that was sooo AWESOME. Like, way out TOH-tally."

Forgot to shoot photos of the surrounding but it was big enough to be spacious, our table was big but we didn't have to shout or anything and they also have an outdoor area for those who prefer to dine under the moonlight.

The food was good in general. On our table we had grilled chicken, fish and chips and ribeye steak and some other stuff on the side (but who cares).

Lousy photos from hereforth courtesy of Waffles.

My ribeye steak was supposed to be medium well but I should have known it was gonna come out well done. I wasn't sure if it was really ribeye steak coz it could have been rabbit meat by the sheer size of it. I imagine it was hard for the cook to not surpass the medium well mark since it took all of 2 minutes to get to the well done mark anyway.

I forgot in what way it was good but I picked some of Ratna's grilled chicken and I thought the black pepper sauce that came with it was um, good. And uh, forgot to take a shot of the grilled chicken too.

And because I finished my rabbit steak in like 3 forkfuls, I had to steal some stuff off my little bird's fish and chips. I love eating out with her. She eats so little I get to finish her food all the time.

I don't know if it is Aussie like they claim, but it was good. It's Long John Silver's on a plate. The portioning was good and it came with a generous serving of fries and salad. It could have been less oily though. The fish was practically swimming in oil I reckon.

And then after what seemed like 3 hours and 43 minutes waiting for our dear Miss Ratna to finish her food, what better way to bring our dinner to a close by gorging ourselves silly with dessert.

Suraya made this thingy which was like tiramisu cake gone mad. I'm just glad none of us have been reported dead thus far. Whew!

Guess who took this parting shot? It's my little mouse Nadiah. I'm so proud of the little goo.

2007-01-04T06:58:00.000+08:00

There was no confrontation. He came by to drop some stocks and made a quick exit.

Could be a good thing. I was still seething from what he said the day before but at least no one died, me included. Alhamdulillah.

2007-01-03T07:05:00.000+08:00

Am I really a walking disaster? Sometimes I wonder.

Something happened yesterday, work-wise... and today we will have a showdown to clear things up.

2007-01-02T07:13:00.000+08:00

There is nothing in the world like spending a great time with the people you love and give a damn about.

2007-01-01T11:36:00.000+08:00

Liana my sister has kidnapped Fish, my pink cat. I think she's gonna throw her away.

Ok, but someone has to get me a fluffy bird soon then ;-)

2006-12-31T11:36:00.000+08:00

Killed some goats today.

Beh-eh-eh-ACK

2006-12-29T18:56:00.000+08:00

"Oi! So early ah!?"

I turned around to see who this busybody was. "Oh", my brain said, "It's the girl from reception".

"No lah I've got this stupid lunch with the Suntec management later so I'm just preparing the shop before the temporary help takes over", I replied.

Little Girl: Oh ya, my father also got invited.

Calamity Man: Your father? He's got a shop here too?

LG: Ya. A flower shop.

"DING DING DING!" my brain registered coz I was thinking of getting flowers for my little bird who wasn't feeling well today.

CM: Where's his shop at?

LG: First floor, Tower 3, lor.

CM: Ok thanks.

So I thought I'd drop by to have a look-see and whaddya know, I know the guy!

His shop used to be at The Concourse opposite the cafe I used to manage at Keypoint yeeears ago and I did ahem, get him to send a bouquet to some girl at one point. That was like waaay back. Waaay, waaaay, waaaaay back. Like, it's all so in the past right now, one for the history books *quivering lips* heh.

We talked for a bit after registering our attendance at the lunch thingy but we both didn't stay long. Couldn't stand being in a crowd and I wasn't exactly looking forward to jostling with them for the buffet that was being kept warm and heavily guarded by Gurkhas (I made this up).

I got that bouquet I wanted after I knocked off from work, walked a couple or so kilometres to where she lives, hobbling along on my wobbly left knee and all to deliver it personally to her, my little bird.

How sweet... :-)

2006-12-27T08:22:00.000+08:00

So it occured to me a few weeks ago that my left knee's gone wobbly. Today's morning run seemed to strongly emphasize that. I was limping by the time I finished.

Two days ago, on Monday, I also realized that perhaps I'm piling on the fats faster than I can run 'em off. I'm still eating the same way I have all my life but what used to be a tyre the size of a kid's bike's around my waist five years ago is now the size of a pickup truck's. I give it five more years to morph into the size of a bus'.

I think the cells responsible for my metabolism rate is slowly deserting me.

As though that isn't enough bad news already, last night I discovered a brand new gray hair on my head. I have now a boyband of gray hair all over my head. So not only have my metabolism rate deserted me, my melanocyte stem cells' are dying on me too.

I'm sooo going to be this old, fat guy with a full head of white hopping on one leg. Talk about growing old gracefully... .

2006-12-26T19:20:00.000+08:00

Out of every four books I borrow, three would suck. I don't know why.

I started out borrowing one book but I realized that if that one book was to suck, I'd have nothing else to read ever since I've stopped buying the papers in protest of the skewed news that's being dished out every day and also because of economic reasons.

Then I increased that to two books and then three but still I manage to sometimes get all three books to suck. So now I borrow four books at a pop. I think it might work at this rate. So far I've managed to at least get one book out of four to be read-worthy.

I don't know, I think it's weird but when I read I can actually hear the writers' accents too and there are some forms of accents my brain don't absorb very well.

And then there are slangs. I can actually tell which part of the country from which part of the world a writer is from from his or her choice of slang. Besides Singlish, I prefer Aussie (but of course, I'm a fake Perthling), Brit and American English best.

I can also tell where a writer is from from their sense of humour and wit. For example, most French writers have none of the two and therefore I usually avoid them.

Spanglish, 'Yo yo yo wassup English', Indian English and sms English I don't like to read in a book. Don't understand the writers' style.

I also don't like books from writers who try to be overly-funny (apparently it's possible). I shut MissFit by Maria Beaumont after just two chapters, dumped it into my knapsack and promised myself to avoid anything by this woman forever and ever. She's lucky I gave her two chapters. Other authors don't even get pass two paragraphs.

I'm fortunate the library exists. Imagine actually putting money into this hobby at the rate I'm hauling books off the shelves? Dang, I'd be wasting a fortune since three quarters of the books I haul would potentially suck.

2006-12-25T06:50:00.000+08:00

It's the last week of the year. Time just zipped by like that, didn't it?

In the name of peace on Earth, I'd like to wish all members of the human race happy holidays and a blessed new year.

Don't drink and drive. Your drink might spill.

2006-12-24T07:30:00.000+08:00

It seems that my blog has slowly morphed into the 'ayam penyet' resource on the net.

This week alone all things *ayam penyet have conquered the top ten spots of keywords that lead people to my blog. Weird or what?

My blog has more personality than I do!

Dang, it even has its own career!

Anyway, guess what else is on the list?

'My fried foods come out soggy'? 'Obermain shoes review'? What the-?

*rolleyes*

*flattened chicken

2006-12-21T07:16:00.000+08:00

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who's chipped in to help raise money for the China Muslim Silaturrahim Qurban fund.

We managed to hit TEN times the original target. With me, I have the names and contributions for 15 goats ($1650). Another person who heard from me went to get five goats directly from Sister Mariah.

There are those who helped spread the word around. There are those who came out of their shells to drop by and visit me. Whatever it is, all I'm saying is that this superhero couldn't have done it alone.

So thank you people! You know who you are. God bless all of you.

15 goats standing on the wall
15 goats standing on the wall
And if one goat should accidentally fall
There'd be 14 goats standing on the wall

14 goats standing on the wall
14 goats standing on the wall
And if one goat should accidentally fall
There'd be 13 goats standing on the wall...

2006-12-17T08:41:00.002+08:00

As stated by Sister Suraya a few days ago, the collection of monetary contributions for the Qurban thingy in aid of our Muslim brothers and sisters in China is still ongoing and gaining momentum.

What was set out to be a mission to raise $220 or enough money to purchase two goats has thus far been overly exceeded, surpassed and beaten up and chewed into little pieces by SEVEN times, ladies and germs. Yeap, seven freakin' times. One more should be on the way as soon as she (my sis) decides to wake up in the room. Lazy bugger.

I'm gonna have to tabulate all the money I kept all over the house inside three of my socks, inside the TV, under the mattress and in the washing machine soon so I hope to have all monetary contributions as well as the list of names you want the contributions to be made under handed to me by the 20th of this month.

Since we are on a roll, we might as well go for 20, right guys? Only five more to go. It's after all for a good cause. I say again, please just donate any amount you can afford. $20 is nothing for you, is it? But it means a lot in renminbi that is China's currency. It's a joint effort by Muslims for Muslims. Let our powers combine!

Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! HEART! Go planet!

Show 'em being Muslim doesn't necessarily mean being some guy under a blanket with bombs strapped to his body whose whole ambition in life is to be flying pieces of kebab.

Go Planet!

For more information in regards to this matter, please contact me directly at thecalamityman @ gmail.com so I could pass you the details of my Nigerian bank account in private.

2006-12-17T08:41:00.001+08:00

I think my temper has toned down a lot over the years. After all, I was at one point recommended Anger Management Therapy by a school counsellor. Nobody could have imagined this I suppose but to be frank I have tried to be more tolerant so maybe that's why no one could have seen this confession coming.

Well anyway, of late there have been scenarios at work that got me snapping a little bit going through many Ally McBeal moments of imagining myself biting people's heads off.

I run an IT shop called [removed] and the things there are cheap coz we bring them in ourselves from China mainly. No middleman anywhere except for the cost of shipping them over.

You'd think consumers would be happy to know they don't actually have to pay premium prices for stuff, but you'd be wrong. Took me by surprise as well.

Below is an example of an exchange with a customer:

Dumbo: Why are your things so cheap?

CM: Coz we import and process them ourselves.

Dumbo: Are they working?

CM: (Imagining myself smacking my forehead a few times) Why would I sell things that aren't working? *Look of horror and disbelief*

Dumbo: Oh I know! They're made in China riiight...? *smirking like a smartass like as though he's discovered my deep dark secret and have successfully cornered me between a rock and a hard place*

CM: Dude, the WHOLE WORLD is made in China. Your shoes are made in China, your watch is made in China, even your skin is made in China! You paid $5000 for something and you think it's made in Japan but it's actually made in China *bulging eyeballs smoke coming out of ears and nostrils*

Dumbo: Oh ok.

The funny thing is, people like him actually end up buying a few stuff anyway. It's a strange world we live in.

Look here, we are not the enemies. We - Pinky and The Brain, operators of [removed], are your friends. We are on your side. Embrace us, love us, adore us! Together we shall RULE THE WORLD!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pinky and The Brain
Pinky and The Brain
One's a genius
The other's insane!

2006-12-17T08:41:00.000+08:00

My left leg is acting up on me again.

For the past year I've noticed that side of my body would hurt at different areas each time, especially the knees.

I suspect it's been functioning well all these years on borrowed time. You see (I hate using 'You see' at a beginning of a sentence by the way), when I was four I got hit by a taxi and ended up under one of the rear wheels. Next thing I knew my knees were bandaged yada yada yada, took it months to recover. I was told I wouldn't be able to play sports.

But sports I played. First soccer, then running and then the creme de la creme grandfather of all contact sports... rugby.

Not only that, I also served time in an elite army unit for two and a half years and represented them in rugby too. My mother thought and still thinks (for other reasons now) that I am nuts.

I have a feeling my left knee will give up on me before old age. Time to get rich real quick so I could afford my own butler!

2006-12-15T09:05:00.000+08:00

I'm a little pissed off currently, just a little.

Firstly I woke up 45mins late this morning and missed my prayers. I did set my handphone's alarm clock last night and it did ring this morning. Well sort of.

Thing is, my phone is broken. I noticed for the last few days that sometimes it rings or beeps but most times it doesn't. I never expected it to affect the alarm clock though, but it has.

I think it's got to do with my bright idea of taking it out for my morning runs so I could listen to music on the radio since last week. All that bouncing around in my pocket must have screwed it up.

And this, after I bought a portable FM radio for $6. I didn't wanna run with a phone in my pocket anymore coz it drags the right side of my shorts down all the time.

Alas it was not to be. Adding to my headache of thinking of where to find the money to get my phone repaired, the radio didn't work too. I set it to Class 95 my station of choice but as I was running, the stupid thing kept changing stations on its own.

The worst thing was most times, I hear four stations all at once so I have people speaking and singing in Tamil, Japanese, Mandarin and English between my ears.

My soul-cleansing and harmonious morning run was not to be.

I got back home and chucked the damn thing in the bin.

At present conditions, I think the priority is to ~~just get an alarm clock.~~ grab some pizza and chill out with a movie. Forget the portable radio or phone repairs or even the alarm clock.

2006-12-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

My sister Lilies just got herself a new cat called Molly a couple of weeks ago so I thought I'd pay her a visit and have Molly for dinner. I dragged Liana along too.

Allo Molly!

Sniff sniff who's this gorilla?

What an elegant cat

I'm freeeee!

I'm back. What's for dinner?

What do you mean me? Go away you gorilla.

2006-12-09T07:50:00.000+08:00

Bistari Nasi Ayam Penyet
Malay Village
08/12/06
Rating: 5.5 billy goats

After reading the Makansutra review on Bistari Nasi Ayam Penyet a few weeks ago, I thought I really had to try it. They have outlets in Changi Village and Malay Village. They seem to like villages a lot.

So I asked her. Of course she said yes coz she knows I won't rest in my quest to find the greatest nasi ayam penyet joint on the island. And I thought why not ask Su and Khai too since they're foodies themselves and they agreed as well.

Su also asked to bring one her colleagues from work, J and his wife Cynthia. Su said he's from Perth. Being a Perthling-wannabe and all, of course I counter-agreed. Any Perthling is a friend of mine.

We went to the one at Malay Village.

Us before we started mowing everything down.

The spread we were gonna mow down

In total, we demolished eight plates of rice and nine plates of chicken between the six of us. Of these, I had like a combined total of two plates of both. Ok, ok, MORE than that alright coz I had some of hers as well.

They all seem to like the rice. Smells like buttered rice to me but Su ahem, pointed out that well, it's actually coconut milk that they used so it's more like nasi lemak rice minus the pandan fragrance.

For me though, I was more hungry than anything, as always and not because I liked what they dished out. It was above average but as I've said before, once you've tasted authentic, all others are just lousy copycats. I'm sorry, but KF Seetoh has no idea about nasi ayam penyet. Everything is 'robust' to him.

For one, the rice is a scam. Nasi ayam penyet by right should only come with white rice. No coconut milk rice, no gingered rice, no yellow rice, blue, pink or even purple ok, comprende?

And then, they kinda forgot to include the fried tofu and fermented soybeans. I'd have closed one eye if their chicken was ok-sized but they might have used quails. I thought they were quite small. That's why I had to have two servings.

The chicken was alright. It's just chicken, fried... with the wrong spices, for your info. Sigh... . Why do these guys keep thinking nasi ayam penyet is only about rice and any old fried chicken? They just couldn't be bothered, can they?

The thing is, Bistari's chicken is salty and spicy hot. Maybe they are trying to suit local tastebuds or maybe they don't even have a clue but nasi ayam penyet is a Javanese food and Javanese food is supposed to be more sweet than spicy. Sumatran food is traditionally spicy, that's why nasi padang dishes are as such. That's where 'nasi padang' got its name. 'Padang' is a Sumatran province.

Dang I wish Ita, the authentic nasi ayam penyet cook and friend of mine hadn't changed her number. I would do ANYthing to eat her nasi ayam penyet again without actually having to go to Java for it.

Us after mowing everything down. BURP!

2006-12-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

Actually I don't really have to tell the whole world about this but I am going to anyway. Max got me a Brother MFC 4800 AIO (all-in-one) machine for the shop last night. It's a printer, fax machine, water cooler and pancake maker.

I'm not giving it a name coz I don't really like it. It doesn't feel belong.

It's not something I'd recommend to anyone coz firstly it only does black and white and secondly we can't seem to install the stupid thingy that was supposed to allow us to fax documents directly from the computer. Kept being prompted something like 'Can't continue installation as machine was interrupted, blah blah blah'.

After more than five times trying to install the damn thing it took a lot of my patience drawn from previously unknown locations inside of me to stop me from kicking the stupid, big, fat, white thing.

I surrendered. Rather than bogging myself with this mundane issue, I might as well just settle for the old fashioned type-print-fax option. It's not like anybody would die.

2006-12-03T09:20:00.000+08:00

I've been planning for weeks to write a bit about my adventures checking out the food places around my place of work but I simply don't feel motivated to think about what to write about them.

As the foremost and leading food expert in Toa Payoh Lorong 1, I think my food reviews hold a lot of weight you know? Yeap.

Anyway, this is supposed to be a short one.

I've been wanting to try the food from Golden Pillow 933 for a while now and I finally did on Friday.

We had the chicken curry in a fluff of bread thing which everyone said was very good, fried chicken wings and fried rice to go with our coke delivered to us for dinner.

Let's be honest here. Besides the coke, we thought everything else was dog food. In fact, I'm not even sure if any dog would wanna have them actually. They were mediocre.

The chicken curry was bland. Curries are meant to be spicy. Nothing great about the fluffy bread which wasn't as fluffy as it looked. Just the dang novelty of it that excites people I guess. I've tasted better chicken curry with bread on the outside in my time.

The chicken wings tasted like it had been fried in oil that's been used to fry a million other things before. I know, because I started my FNB career as a cook and I've done the same. The wings are dark in colour and tasted like everything but chicken.

And they must have been rushing to deliver the food coz they forgot the basic rule of not straightaway packing food while they're still fresh from the wok/pot/cooker coz they're gonna come out soggy. Fried wings are supposed to be crispy but that's my own opinion. Maybe other folks like them feeling like turd, I don't know.

On the phone, I asked the idiot what the fried rice consists of. His reply? "Aw, it's norme flied lice lor..." Ya I know, but there are many types of flied lice. Seafood, beef, kampong, what is yours? "Norme lor!"

"Wahneenabehcheetot!" I cursed to myself as my nicotine-deprived brain mentally wringed the idiot's neck, but I thought I'd give it a go anyway and if it's bad like it was eventually, I was soooo gonna put it up on my blog.

What's so bad about it? The portion was just right for me. No problem with that. It filled up two of my five stomachs in the end. I only finished it coz I try not to waste food but uh, I thought the guy could have just damn told me it was seafood flied lice in the first place.

Unfortunately their flied lice was also bland. Tasteless. It was rice with a lot of colours but no substance. It was just rice tossed around in a wok for two minutes. In total, I think they used like a baby's pinch of salt, one piece of crab stick chopped into cubes of 1/2cm on each side, a teaspoon of oil (used of course!) and three pieces of inferior prawns.

VOILA! Seafood flied lice! Bon appetit monsieur, madame... .

I was gutted but thank God she brought Ferrero Rochers. That saved the evening.

And my final conclusion is, if it's not obvious enough? I hate spending $30 on something with no substance. I could have bought a more expensive pair of trainers with that kinda money!

2006-12-02T06:46:00.000+08:00

Say hello to Ook who's just chillin'.

Oh look! It's Papadum the hippo!

This is Confirm Chop Plus Guarantee And Lifetime Warranty Number 1, or just No 1 in short who's a champion race horse.

And meet Pinoy, the Filipino elephant (he thinks he's Filipino). He's not a good listener but that doesn't stop him from being nosey!

And uh No 1's friend, Fairy who isn't called 'Fairy' because he's white and all. More like, he's a gay horse.

There you have it. Now Boo has friends to hang out with at night when all the shops are closed. I just hope that security doesn't complain about the din they'd be making.

2006-11-30T22:44:00.000+08:00

I just don't feel inspired to spend three minutes to come up with a witty entry header ok. Besides, it's gonna come out corny anyway.

So Em and Su came to [removed] today. Damn I need a cigarette.

We had lunch at Tong Seng coffeeshop near Bencoolen Street where they've got Halal non-Malay/Indian food.

Hello!

We all had Chinese chicken rice, roasted for tunch. Mine as usual was the upsized version and that was after I swallowed a triple layer sandwich for brunch made with the Halal turkey ham and bacon that Lilies got for me and fried egg and two slices of cheese. I only added ONE fried egg by the way. I'm watching my cholesterol intake.

Edited to add this lovely picture of a triple layer Calamity sandwich. It's got every food group in it and thus very healthy. Don't trust 'em when they say it's not. There's protein from the turkey everything, eggs and cheese, carbo from the bread and of course vitamins from the sunflower oil which was used to fry everything good. Sunflower is a vege right, I think?

I think Su looks like a gangster. She looks like the sort who'd beat you up if you're not careful. She reminds me of my sister Lilie in Perth. They have this heck-all air about them. I think it's cool.

We were passing through this foodcourt when I saw a stall called "Supreme Pork Chop Rice". I was like, "You wanna try that?" and she was like, "Nah, not today." without missing a beat. Haha. Definitely like my Sis Lilie. (I miss you Lie and the kids and the kits too).

[removed]

She also has a 14 yr old sister whose idea of being cool is to memorize everything about The Simpsons. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

Eat my shorts, dude! HAHAHAHAHA.

Ahem. Sorry. Normal programming resumes.

There was also Em who if you glance on my tagboard on the right, is looking for a wireless router with an inbuilt modem. Ok, no problem except that I quoted her the wrong price. It's actually $165, dop!

We talked a bit about the progress of our cows and goats project, raising funds for the ChinaMuslim Silaturrahim. I say, I say, we're doing quite well, aren't we?

Since Su's already blabbered about it on her blog, I guess I am left with no choice but to also announce the same thing ;)

The due date for all names and funds to be submitted to me is the 15th of December 06. That is so I have time (five days) to consolidate and organize the necessary paperwork like arranging the visas and flight tickets for the cows and goats as well as to prepare the cheque as a total amount before dumping the mess at CMS' doorsteps haha.

Each cow costs $770 and each goat, a mere $110. This is a combined effort so you don't have to come up with the entire sum yourself. 10, 20 dollars from you is more than most people can come up with, that is 'nothing'. There are still two more weeks to the day.

Got questions?

thecalamityman @ gmail . com

2006-11-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

I think I'm depressed.

Today I ate the entire top layer of assorted biscuits from a tin of assorted biscuits (minus the actual plastic layer that separates the first layer of biscuits from the second of course), six packets of chocopies, one mushroom swiss meal with extra cheesesticks at Burger King as well as a packet of Van Houten chocballs.

I left work early as such is the arrangement with Max for Tuesdays and Fridays every week (no off days) and decided not to go straight home like I always do.

Like a delinquent with my shaven head, my shirt tucked out at the back and a cat (Boo) sticking his head out from the zipper of my backpack, I trawled Bugis Street and then City Hall.

To cut the story short, I came, I saw, I bought.

I blew 70 quid (sorry I've been reading a Brit book called Adrian Mole the last few days) on a new New Balance M808 shoes. Original price $134.

Chunky shoes for a hunky dude

I mean firstly, it was going at nearly half price. I tried, trust me I did but I couldn't stop myself from banishing that thought off my head.

And then, one must understand that in this day and age, where quality of sports shoes is concerned, the more colour it has, the better it is regarded and hence more expensive.

For instance, black soccer boots don't cut it anymore. It must now be yellow or silver or red. Also, these days, consumers pay sports manufacturers to advertize their logos for them instead of the other way around.

In this context, my new New Balance shoes is actually a rebel. A rebel with a cause, just like its new owner. I'm gonna call my new shoes MmmBob.

Mr MmmBob is a two year old model left on the shelf, a victim of dumb consumers who do not know how to spot a good quality all-terrain, off-road trainers. Being overlooked by many despite our qualities, we were meant for each other.

If you notice from the link on top, MmmBob is also described as 'a rugged, supportive and durable trail running shoe, designed with technical features for superior trail performance and a superb fit'.

I think the website just described me as well. How cool is that?

By the way, no money from the ChinaMuslim fund was used to obtain MmmBob. I am broke, not destitute. I can still afford things. Besides, my mom came by my shop yesterday to air drop some food supply hence I'm covered for this week food-wise.

Also, I've decided to try and stop smoking again. That way I'd have more money for food, hang out with the people (actually just one person but I just wanna give the impression that I'm popular) I wanna hang out with and not suffocate them to death as well as to be able to contribute more to my humanitarian causes.

Maybe I'll smoke again when I'm rich. Heh.

2006-11-28T07:59:00.000+08:00

When life throws melons at you, chop them up into little pieces and make melonade.

Bloody goat

2006-11-25T00:10:00.000+08:00

I mentioned the slaying of cows and goats in my last post. That was meant in jest although cows and goats shall be slayed anyway. All for a good cause but.

As part of the Hari Raya Qurban (or Hari Raya Korban or Hari Raya Haji or Eid Ul Adha), the ChinaMuslim Silaturrahim are raising funds in order to continue their cause in aiding the needy Muslim folks in China.

Hari Raya Qurban occurs on the tenth day of the Islamic month of Dhul Hijja. It is celebrated by Muslims the world over as a commemoration of Prophet Ibrahim's willingness to sacrifice his son (Ishmael) for (Allah) God. Others celebrate it as it marks the end of the Pilgrimage or Haj for the millions of Muslims who make the trip to Mecca each year.

We don't really need to sacrifice our own sons for this but what we do though is to sacrifice cattle such as goats, sheeps and cows instead. And then we distribute the meat to the needy.

The cattle in question are usually provided by people who can afford them. The funds raised through this is then used for charitable causes which in this case is to aid in the improvement of standard of living for the folks in China.

At present, only cows and goats are available. Each cow costs $770 and each goat, $110. This is not a profit-making scheme. I was pretty shocked to discover how cheap a goat is. Dang, they're even cheaper than cats and we can't even eat cats.

We here, of course refers to everyone else but me coz in fact, I eat cats. Sure I get choked a little by their fur but nothing a bottle of water doesn't help.

So anyway, I'm attempting to lead by example here by pledging $60 to the cause. My aim is to gather enough resources to at least afford two goats.

Assuming I have eight other people contributing $20 each, I believe it's an attainable ambition.

I mean, what's $20 to you huh? For me, 60 bucks means I'd have to put off purchasing a bicycle for use at work till the new year or even, horror of horrors, SIX packets of cigarettes! GASP! You know how much THAT means to me? A LOT but I will live.

Instead of spending money to slowly kill myself, the 60 bucks could now instead be used to build a whole new annex in a school in China. Woo! I can always continue slowly killing myself after this.

You want details? thecalamityman @ gmail.com is the email you should reach. If this is all a scam, you're welcome to sacrifice me instead and lay my cured skin in your living room as a carpet.

Pie, please?

2006-11-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

After about a month of lingering in the wilderness, the matter of collaborating WantToTrade.sg (WTT) with ChinaMuslim Silaturrahim (ChinaMuslim Solidarity or CMS for short) is finally seeing the light of day.

Not only that. Business-wise, I've also snagged a deal with Namsan Halal Mackerel Otah to advertise with WTT.

It all started when I saw a video clip on the lives of Muslims in China on Su's blog. So I thought hey, I could help them get even more exposure through WTT should people want to chip in to their charitable causes.

Under Sister Mariah, whom I liaised with, CMS' mission is to provide an education for needy children and orphans in the rural areas of China.

They strongly believe that it is through education that they can develop their potential and abilities to benefit the community.

With the knowledge and skills acquired, these youths will be able to earn a decent living and break out of their economic poverty.

How noble of her.

She is one positive and energetic lady. Both she and her brother make money to contribute money. I felt very comfortable talking to her. I think in the couple of hours we were talking, we only spent like five minutes actually talking about WTT.

We also talked about her broken laptop, about sourcing for someone to help her revamp and periodically maintain her six years old website, about helping her find a delivery driver for her brother's mackerel otah business, about there being a purpose for us meeting this and that people in the course of our daily lives, about slaying cows and goats as well as possible future collaborations in exploring China to source for stuff to sell in Singapore.

Cool beans. Everything was fine and dandy until we both had to go as we each had appointments to attend right after that.

I'm just pleased as pie to finally meet Sister Mariah.

Pimp my [removed]

2006-11-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

Hello [removed] (how original)!

[removed] is an established direct importer, wholesaler AND
retailer of IT accessories specializing in:

- VOIP products such as skype phones, ear/headphones, mics, webcams
- networking products such as wireless routers, modems and cards
- USB-powered accessories such as desktop fans and lamps
- data storage solutions such as memory cards and memory card readers and of course...
- mice (retractable, optical, laser). We have them all.

In conjunction with the opening of our latest shop in [removed], we are pleased to offer you the following promotions:

[removed]

Why pay more and spend less on other things when you don't have to?

[removed] - IT accessories at budget wholesale prices. GST-ABSORBED.

Please reach us at [removed] for any feedback. Thank you.

[removed]

We're right on top of [removed].

Bad stuff, good stuff

2006-11-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

We caught our first shoplifter in the act today. Well, Max did. I was in the toilet.

The kid's been touched by an angel. God knows what I'd do to him if I had caught him myself.

All 6ft plus tall Max did when he saw the kid slip a $2.50 PS/2 to USB adaptor into his bag was to stand behind him while he was doing the do and the kid quickly took the thing out and paid for it right away.

Is going to prison over something worth a few bucks worth it? Is going to the hospital before going to prison over something worth a few bucks worth it?

Anywho, on to the good stuff.

I was happy to see a bouquet of flowers at my shop when I arrived this morning. Finally, someone remembered us. It was from some organisation linked with the mall's management. Better than no flowers. It was quite embarassing to be the only shop without any flowers at the doorstep for a while.

Flowers, I loike.

Dusty book

2006-11-21T08:27:00.000+08:00

The beginning. The present. The end.

What's wrong with the above?

There is no future... or is there?

After reading this book called Dust by Charles Pellegrino, I have a new-found respect for insects. Next time I see a cockroach, I'm giving it a pat on the head. Maybe I'll keep one as a pet and take it for walks on a leash or something too.

Egg-citing promotion

2006-11-20T06:49:00.000+08:00

It's Easter all over again coz starting tomorrow we're giving out eggs at [removed] with every $30 purchase in a single receipt.

They're not just any eggs. In line with our obsession with offering cute and bright thingy things, they're colour-changing eggs! Like you actually give a... nevermind.

While stocks last. Bird flu not included.

[removed]

We're right on top of Giordano and Watson's.

Invasion

2006-11-19T08:11:00.000+08:00

Meet Boo, the fluffy cat. A cat in a [removed]... how original.

Boo facing the door ready to eat any intruder after I pulled down the shutters.

Actually Boo is my sister Liana's cat. I don't know what she calls him but I'm calling him Boo coz he gave me a fright when I found this black, furry thing in my bag yesterday morning. No idea how he sneaked himself in there but I took him to work anyway.

Now he is my shop's mascot. Many customers couldn't resist patting his head on the counter.

Jack in the box

2006-11-18T08:32:00.000+08:00

Two other great things occured yesterday.

Before closing shop and going home last night, we got ourselves a brand new vacuum cleaner that got me all excited.

Meet Flapjack, or Jack for short. Look at that thing. It's a broom which sucks! I absolutely love how sleek and simple it is!

Jack was of course obtained coz we thought we needed something less bulky for a shop the size of the one at Suntec with a store room so tiny. The old vacuum cleaner took up half the room.

And then I got home and got myself signed up with eFax. It's an online fax service that eliminates the need for a fax machine, an extra fax line and all the associated expenses (paper, ink cartridges etc).

I think it'd cost me ~~$40~~ a base of $20 a month but I don't really care coz I took up the 30 days free trial and all I need is to be able to fax from my email till the new month.

The thing is, I need to place orders from the mother ship at Keypoint everyday in order to have a sufficient amount of inventory coz I can't store a lotta things at Suntec to begin with.

Unfortunately, their Internet connection is down since they're moving out to another premise soon and I don't have a fax machine to be able to fax them. Hence eFax was a necessary compromise.

I think it's a good, easy to use service. I might just go beyond 30 days. Love the idea of paperless faxing. Love the idea of not needing to have one bulky, white thing someplace in the house (Liana already has something like this LMAO!!!). Love more the idea of giving my computer one more function. I can do sooo many things from one corner of my home. Woo!

Giggle giggle

2006-11-18T06:58:00.000+08:00

If I get $10 for every giggle at my shop, I'd be halfway in achieving my sales target every single day.

Firstly, they'd giggle at the name.

(Looking up at the signboard) "Hooouse...Offf...Mooouse. Ha ha ha! *giggle giggle* so funneee."

Then they look down at the stuff on display.

"So cuuuuute!*giggle giggle*"

Then they look around for the guy manning the stall.

"Pssst. Look. *point point* Toilet brush head! *giggle giggle*"

*rolleyes x 83478287*

So anyway, TR came by today with one of her sisters. The first customers of the day.

They didn't come empty-handed and they didn't leave empty-handed. I just realized this. TR is always the first of the people I know to support me in whatever stupid thing I do. God bless her.

She actually took the trouble to bake me and my sister Liana some cupcakes. Mine had the letters H, O and M on them and Liana's had "Liana Banana" or something. Can't remember coz we ate them very quickly.

See! House. Of. Mouse. So cute, right? Next time she's spelling the whole thing. Woohoo! 12 cupcakes!

Gone in 60 seconds. They were damn good. Even Liana agreed. What a lotta fun. Box of sunshine they were! Check out TR's wonderful cupcakes here or reach her at cupcakemomma @ gmail .com for orders.

"Hmmph! Damn papparazis!"

Anyway, the crowd at Suntec is a weird one. At The Arcade and Keypoint, the main draws are the thumbdrives and portable hard disks. Over here, it's the...

Colour-changing snowman

Weird things are happening

Doraemon USB fan

I kept ordering and re-ordering for Max to send some over every day from the other outlets this past half week and now, they're already sold out, save for three pieces of the Doraemon fan including the display set.

Small ticket items they may be but I ain't complainin' coz sometimes the people who buy them buy other things too.

I had this Filipino guy who was going back to his home country and he was having a ball just picking out stuff for his family and friends back home. Every time he'd finish paying for one set of stuff, he'd stop for a while more, look around again and get even more stuff. He must have collected four or five receipts by the time he was done.

Then there was this guy from India who did almost the same getting stuff for everyone he knows. He spent like one hour browsing around. I mean, spending one hour in a hole-in-the-wall is just plain crazy man but again, no complains. He might have just accumulated one receipt but it was a big one considering how cheap my stuff are.

So after half a week, I realized that my shop is actually more of a gift shop based on IT, or using IT as an excuse than a proper IT shop. Ha ha. Like, no one cares about my networking stuff or my memory cards or my data storage solutions, dude!

The moral of the story is that everything in my shop is cute. Including the guy manning it. Heh heh.

And we are... OPEN!

2006-11-15T07:03:00.000+08:00

We are finally open! Look at the amount of stuff in there. I was amazed and pleased to be able to have a substantial product mix to offer.

I said I would tidy up my counter and I did. It looks less clutterish now with all the wires tucked behind and on the left side of the CPU away from the view of the public.

Really cute USB desktop fans. Office workers' favourite no doubt.

USB-powered black and white doggy speakers for your PC or laptop for that matter.

Our newly-arrived webcams. I especially like the ones on the right. So chunky and fruity I wanna eat them!

Our USB animal-shaped massagers which always never fail to put a smile on people's faces. The piggy is a radio/speaker combo. People buy it all the time at our other shops as gifts. Too cute to ignore. I saw them at a pushcart at Toa Payoh a few weeks ago selling for double digits, can't really remember, but we sell them for less than $10.

I'm really excited about my audio and VOIP section. I have some really wonderful items for making Skype phonecalls. Skype phones, headphones with mic, earphones with mic, single sided, double sided, headphones, earphones, standalone mics. I can't wait to get one or two for my sister Lilie in Perth so she wouldn't have to pay so much to call us in Singapore, vice versa.

What is [removed] without mice? Graphic print mice, laser mice for gaming, mice with retractable cords, mice which look like cars, or a foot with painted toenails, big mice, small mice, etc.

People go crazy about our networking section. ADSL routers, broadband routers (wireless and non-wireless), wireless PCMCIA cards, wireless USB adapters, cardbus to ethernet adapters, modems, etc. We only carry Linksys and Prolink by the way.

You folks can send flowers to:
[removed]

I was quite pleased at how I maximized the space at the shop. Mice on the left, USB hubs next to it, reserved a slot above my counter for the thumbdrives and memory cards which will arrive soon, with the memory card reader section next to it, audio/VOIP section on the right with the sub-sections (headphones/earphones/mics/headphones with mic/earphones with mic/Skype phones/speakers) neatly arranged for ease of convenience.

Even the display shelves were strategically thought out. I made sure the USB fans and mice are at eye level and the toy-looking stuff such as the webcams and massagers at the kids' eye level so they could play with them and perhaps annoy their parents to get the stuff for them. Heh.

Seize the fish!

2006-11-13T21:18:00.000+08:00

Things are finally clicking together with the setup of [removed]. So far, we have only filled up half the shop with inventory.

As I write this, [removed] must have just finished inputting all the inventory in the computer and tomorrow morning, I shall report there early to arrange the items nicely and do some cleaning up.

[removed]

The shop looks good as a whole but I am not quite happy with some of the workmanship when I look closer.

I would have said something like, "some things are better left to the pros" but the thing is, some of them WERE done by the pros.

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

But there are also some positive things about the shop.

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

Some people have asked me what [removed] selling point is. As you can see, the shop is realy small. It's a pushcart with walls so the things we have in there must be specific. Our strategy is to sell things that people would just grab and go.

We can't have people walking in and spending fifteen minutes enquiring about one product as there'd be no space for others to walk in. Two people in there, me and the customer, is two too many people already.

So we sell things that appeal to the impulse buyers. Things that are not necessarily practical but are fun. Like a mouse that looks like a foot with painted toenails. Then there are USB-powered massagers that look like a ladybird, a tortoise, etc or the USB-powered desktop mini fans that look like a football, a soccerball, baseball, blah blah blah.

Unlike some IT shops, a big chunk of our customer base at our other outlets are female. I think it'd be the same at [removed]. I sure do not mind! Sometimes they not only buy things for themselves, but also for their friends at one go.

They don't have to spend so much time pondering over whether to get the stuff because as direct importers, [removed] is able to sell things cheaper than others.

I was at Sim Lim today to buy the bracket for my LCD monitor when I noticed the shop selling some things that we also sell and I was flabbergasted to find out how much they were selling them for.

For instance, a USB-powered sound card was selling for $28 when we are only selling them for like ~~$15~~ $9.90. Their headsets were going for double digits while ours is only in the single digit. We are talking about the exact items here. Same packaging, same quality, same everything.

But... we also have things for the guys AND gals for that matter. Thumbdrives, memory cards, portable hard disks, wireless routers, modems... .

Initially I was quite skeptical about how many things we can squeeze in that hole in the wall but I was pleasantly surprised to find out we could actually squeeze in quite a lot in there. It's exciting.

Carp diem! Seize the fish!

Update on Heart To Heart

2006-11-13T20:56:00.000+08:00

With regards to my earlier post on volunteering at Heart to Heart on the 2th of November, I've some positive responses so far and I hope to work on this and more.

Some of us will be contributing in cash while others will be volunteering their time but basically there are three ways where contributions can be made - cash, kind or time.

If you wanna contribute in kind, actually it doesn't matter if we were to turn up with more of one type of food over the others. All will be graciously received by Heart To Heart as they'll eventually run out.

Please refer to the list as meted by Heart To Heart for guidance on what food items to donate.

So far, only these people have stated the ways in which they wanna contribute:

Cash:
Liana
Lin

Kind:
Nil

Time:
Fara and friends

More details to be adviced closer to the day.

I Heart Perth

2006-11-12T07:05:00.000+08:00

This day last year, I was on my way to wonderland spending what would be the best 13 days of my life, ever.

Sigh... .

Cat wanted

2006-11-12T06:50:00.000+08:00

My Sister Lilies is looking for a cat.

If you have a fluffy animal with big ears and a smackable butt to offer, please write to lilies.roseita at gmail dot com .

Thank you.

Charity call

2006-11-11T07:13:00.000+08:00

The good people at WantToTrade.sg are organizing a trip to Heart To Heart this coming 25th November to deliver some food donations.

Heart to Heart is a non-profit, non-government aided welfare set-up initiated by Teresa Hsu. The Service reaches out to the poor and needy by providing them with food and monetary assistance every month.

She could do with some instant noodles. That's all she needs to make her day.

Some of the items they need are:
1) Instant Noodles
2) "Super" Coffee-mix 3-in-1.
3) Milo 3-in-1
4) Sugar (1 kg bag)
5) Cooking Oil (1 litre)

Please click here for the full list and other details.

Logistically-speaking, we are considering collecting monetary donations, scoot off to Sheng Shiong to shop for the items, before delivering the stuff to Heart To Heart nearby.

This is to ensure no items are repeated, manpower better utilized and time efficiently managed.

Those who want to contribute in other ways are also welcome.

For more information, please write to thecalamityman at gmail dot com.

Wishing well

2006-11-11T06:33:00.000+08:00

Friday is a good day to make a wish.

And since I have very little time and money to sacrifice, it's off with the hair then.

It was either the hair or the magic wand. Heh.

Adventure Suntec

2006-11-09T10:28:00.000+08:00

The shipment arrived yesterday morning from out of the blue.

When I saw the 20ft container parked outside of K.e.y.p.o.i.n.t, I wished it hadn't come.

It was high, smelly, dusty and the about 130 cartons in there, big, small, light and heavy were all over the place. The lazy buggers didn't even bother to stack them neatly. They didn't give a damn if the items were damaged or not. To them, their job is to deliver the goods and as long as they've achieved that, nothing else matters.

That's the mainland Chinese for you. Always full of surprises. Also, you order item A, they send you item B which kinda looks like item A when in fact, it is not. You never know what you're gonna get until they reach you. When you order from China, you can expect a small percentage of your shipment to be a surprise.

Unexpectedly, the people who sent the container didn't even bother to unload the goods for us. I don't know what the money we paid them is for.

They came, they parked, they left... with the container doors still padlocked. Dumbos forgot to unlock it. Thick padlock it was too. They were so eager to rrrun. So Max had to saw it off.

When that was over, it took us more than 20 trips to and fro the container and our new shop space to unload it... during lunch hour... with millions of people around. Of the 20 plus trips, I took on 3/4 of them. Back-breaking stuff.

After that, Max scrammed to S.u.n.t.e.c to oversee the NETS machine installation process while I stayed behind to oversee the goods were sorted with the help of two retirees and two of our K.e.y.p.o.i.n.t staff.

I was the youngest and presumably fittest so I took it upon myself to cut open all the cartons to view the contents, rearrange them into three categories: Barcoded, Not Barcoded and Wrongly Barcoded, free some of the cartons that came protected with wooden crates (highly fragile), dismantle the crates with a hammer and knock all the nails in so they wouldn't injure anyone (especially me), sweep and dispose all the rubbish.

For the Barcodeds, they can straight away be priced tagged and sold. The Not Barcodeds and Wrongly Barcodeds would have to be barcoded and re-barcoded (we have a machine for that) before they can be price tagged and sold.

Since we're talking about 130 cartons here, of course we didn't manage to complete everything in one day. The other guys left at seven. Max, Michael who's in charge of our The A.r.c.a.d.e outlet and I stayed till nine to process them as much as we could.

After that, Michael left while Max and I went to Suntec with our 5.25m signboard in an attempt to fix it up at the shop. We didn't. It was a pain in the rear end so we decided to go at it the following day.

Before we could go back, we had to clear up the mess which essentially consisted of the more than 5.25m wooden crate that the signboard came with filled with rubbish. When we transported it over, we tied the thing on top of Max's van like a surfboard from K.e.y.p.o.i.n.t but then it was still secure and intact.

Suntec is big and we didn't wanna carry the whole thing and walk to the rubbish dump and we were too lazy to go through all that tying up process all over again, so Max drove while I hung onto the side of the van for dear life while keeping the damn crate in position on top.

It was quite hilarious and embrassing. Thank God the road was quiet and the few buses that passed by were near empty at that time of the night.

Mouse Suntec lowdown

2006-11-08T07:44:00.000+08:00

The more we rush, the more things screw up.

[removed] and some folks stayed up at [removed] on Monday night to fix the wall planks up only to find out two of the panels had the wrong measurements. They have to be sent back to to our dumb contractors to be remeasured and recut.

It was only meant to be a two hour job.

[removed] and I currently work on a rotating shift. The plan was for me to stay up on Tuesday night to process our China shipment which was supposed to reach us in the evening but the damn thing which was initially supposed to reach us last Saturday, hadn't reached us on Sunday, nor Monday, nor Tuesday.

I suspect either there are only five people working at the port processing all the shipments that arrive OR there are 500 of them, but all of them are taking 10 hour coffee breaks.

Anyway, we decide not to rush our [removed] opening. Most of our time is spent waiting for other people. We can't get anything done no matter what.

So far though, we have since last Saturday, laid out the carpet, installed the phone line and the phone, put up the shelves, hooked up all the wiring and fixed half the wall planks onto our walls.

Today, the NETS people are coming to install our NETS transaction machine.

After that, all we need to do is fix the last two wall plank panels so that we can put up our hooks onto our walls, process our shipment whenever it decides to come, separate it into three for all our three shops, move the goods meant for [removed] over, display as well as store them and that's pretty much it before [removed] could start selling.

Day 02 Eid 06

2006-11-05T13:35:00.000+08:00

Wonder Banana Girl and Superhuman Dickhead having a Bollywood moment

Liana's toes were trying to escape

Time for chow at Pak Long's place

Shot this photo of me and my late grandma from an album. The result was very errie

Katak and Dickhead being blue

Nerds

Mom and her brother Pak Long

Mom and her brother's wife, Mak Long

Liana, Lilies and Heidi being cheesy

Family shot before we parted

Saw this guy performing at Tampines MRT while on the way to Yaslam's. He was playing some aboriginal musical instrument and the sign says this is his way of raising money for his travels. He wasn't half bad actually. Admire his courage and determination.

Yas and his youngest kid who I also bit earlier. I was quite rude. I bit his kid, plundered his food and made myself comfortable lying around on the big, fat cushions in his living room like a Roman emperor ;)

Yaslam's Wall of Fame

After that, I had to go to S.u.n.t.e.c City to help Max and Kelvin (a friend) fix some shelves and pheripherals in our shop. It was quite late and we only finished at 0230hrs, Sunday but something's got to give in order for us to launch soon.

The S.u.n.t.e.c management only called yesterday morning to inform us that all our applications have been approved. We immediately got the carpet laid, phone line fixed and Nets machine applied for.

Hope to get the skeleton of the shop all up by Wednesday, move all our stocks in by Thursday and start selling on Friday.

Talking about food

2006-11-05T12:36:00.000+08:00

I've been checking out quite a few eating places at Arab Street the past week. Well I've been stationed at [removed] so obviously, if I can't find Halal food in Arab Street across the road, where else can I find Halal food?

The first one I went to was Minang Nasi Padang. The place serves rice and an array of side dishes. I thought the food there was very tasty and rich... so I continued eating there for three days running. I couldn't help it. They were really lip-smacking gooood.

Then I thought I should be more adventurous and try other places for a change. Afterall, I wouldn't be stationed at Keypoint for very long so I might as well try as many places as possible. Besides, the spread of dishes they have is more or less the same everyday.

So I went to House of Briyani next. Briyani is a form of flavoured oily rice accompanied with either chicken or beef cooked in in many different ways.

I went to the counter and asked the lady, "What's the difference between Iranian briyani and Afghanistan briyani?"

"The taste lah!" she replied.

*smacks forehead*

Duuuh. Obviously... . "But I usually go for the Iranian one," she added.

"Ok, I'll have that one then."

It was very good too. I didn't know there were actually a few types of briyanis going around. I like rice other than Japanese or Taiwanese rice to be grainy, not mushy and that's how the Iranian briyani was. The flavour was also right unlike other scam briyanis which is just tasteless yellowed rice pretending to be actual briyani.

And the tandoori chicken I selected was equally just as good. It was quite spicy and not swimming in gravy. I don't like too much gravy and sauces with my food. Gives me the impression someone's trying to hide the taste of the food behind it.

The next one I tried was Jubilee Dum Briyani. Make no mistake, this briyani is anything but dumb.

I've had dum briyani elsewhere before after being recommended by others and I've always been very disappointed.

I can tell you where NOT to go for any kind of food, especially dum briyani. The Thai coffeeshop at Joo Chiat run by some Indian folks called RK Eating House. Scam artistes they are. Bunch of liars. Holding back on ingredients is no way of retaining first time customers. They have at least one more outlet at Yio Chu Kang Link just outside of Serangoon Garden.

I can also tell you that Jubilee is indeed 100% different from those Thai coffeeshop scammers. They claim to be experts at dum briyani. That is all they sell. I also noticed they've been featured on TV before on a programme called Hawker Walks and Nonsense Talks or something. There are so many foodie shows on TV right now I don't really care.

Dum briyani is also another variation of briyani. The difference is that the chicken or beef is cooked together with the rice, along with all the spices to allow the stock to simmer and permeate so you can imagine the flavour that goes into the dish.

Yum! Jubilee got it right. Finally I get to taste honest dum briyani. I selected beef for a change.

It was spicy. Like as though there were tiny organisms biting at my tongue as I eat. It was all good. Some forms of bitings can be good. Heh.

Unlike briyani scammers who serve heaps of rice with perhaps a dollop of beef the size of a dice, Jubilee's portioning was also honest. After I was done with the rice, I still had some beef left. Wow, that's never happened before!

Actually I also had a chance to taste proper nasi ayam penyet this weekend after searching so long to find one that could match my former tenant's but I botched that one up.

Ita, former tenant I mentioned above, called the other day inviting me to her place for Eid. She said I could ask for anything and she'd prepare it for me. She knows I like her cooking. It was a no-brainer. Of course, the King requested for nasi ayam penyet. No one beats hers in my educated opinion.

I said I'd call her back to confirm details but uh, the number of hers that I have on my contact list was her old number and she called me from her new number which was confidential. Didn't show on my phone. She forgot to tell me about it.

GAAAaaaaAAaAaAaAAAAAaA!!!!

Do you know how cruel this is!? This is perhaps my one and only chance to satisfy my nasi ayam penyet cravings. This is the only person in Singapore who knows what nasi ayam penyet is all about. Others have tried to emulate but they fail miserably. The closest one is still very far for her standard.

I did suggest to her to start her own eating place but she doesn't have the capital. Damn, if I have the money, I'd just hire her to be my personal cook so I and only I can savour her cooking! Bwahahahahaha!!!

I also went to Yaslam's place last night and had nasi jintan. Had no idea what it was but that didn't stop me from having a second helping. The beef rendang was rich and succulent. The beef strips effortlessly so I work less and get to eat more. Heh.

Mighty Mouse

2006-11-03T16:15:00.000+08:00

Things are not moving as fast as we'd like to over at [removed].

I've already done my share of tasks but the rest of the things are crawling at a snail's pace.

[removed] will still be opened this month but currently, NOTHING is up yet. This guy is waiting for that guy who is waiting for these people to approve some things they've applied for before the cavalry can come in to start putting things in which would have to wait for the ship which is presently somewhere in the South China Sea with our brand new goods from China.

Talk about taking a slow boat to China... this one's coming FROM China. We were informed that this shipment would only reach our shores on Sunday. It didn't say what time so [removed] and I have decided to deal with it only on Monday and take it easy this weekend. There's no use rushing anyway since nothing else is cooperating.

At the same time, [removed] is also relocating to another bigger unit which thankfully is just a few doors away within the same building and I've been entrusted to concurrently busy myself with the development there instead of tapping my foot for things to happen with regards to the Suntec situation.

Last week I managed to cut my index finger while putting together some lights. Not only that, I also managed to develop a really painful blister on my thumb from sandpapering the dumb pieces of wood to size.

So this week I decided to keep up with the tradition of offering blood sacrifice by hitting myself in the nose.

Damn, I really hate DIY work.

I was fixing some racks for the new [removed] shop when I realized that I've fixed some of the legs the wrong way. I managed to pull and refix all of the legs the right way fairly easily except for the last one.

It always has to be the last one.

So I huffed and I puffed, groaned and heaved trying to pull the damn leg out when suddenly WHAM!

Daaamn... it was so quick. The damn leg hit me squarely on my nose. I was like, "Oh God, ow ow ow, why oh man, oooowwww!" The pain was so excruciating tears welled in my eyes as blood streamed down my nose.

I took my glasses off and hid in the corner to curse somemore as I felt my nose to see if it's gonna fall off or anything. Nope. Whew.

It was quite funny. I was actually confused whether to laugh or cry. This sort of stupid thing would only happen to a superhero who calls himself The Calamity Man. Thank God this superhero is strong. Even his nose is strong.

Whatever. After a few more minutes of cursing, I continued fixing the racks. All five of them. All double storey. All on my own.

Lose change

2006-11-02T00:34:00.000+08:00

I don't know what is so special about today that made two total strangers approach me for money.

The first one asked for 90c but unfortunately for him, I only had 85c. He took it anyway. I didn't even know what he wanted it for.

Then after visiting my mom, at a little after 10pm, I fought the urge to take a cab home. I was pretty tired then but I managed to convince myself to save the ten bucks for tomorrow's meals or something.

Weirdly enough, as I was approaching the underground tunnel that leads to Yishun MRT station, a girl came up to me and asked for some money.

I only heard something like, "Blah blah blah, mom pregnant, need money, $30, pay back at the end of the month, yada yada yada".

I'm not saying that it works but I gave her $10 hoping that she'd use the money wisely. $10 is a lotta money if you're a kid. Um actually, if you're a 27 year old adult too but whatever. I'll give those two the benefit of the doubt.

Though it did occur to me that I should have just taken the cab. I'd be poorer by ten bucks anyway. Hardy har har.

Watch and learn ;)

2006-11-01T17:10:00.000+08:00

RING! RING!

CM: Hello. Mom? It's CM here.

Mom: Oh hello.

CM: So uh, what did you make for dinner tonight?

Mom: (Caught off-guard) Um, er, uh, fried rice, fried noodles, this that this that...

CM: (Oh goody, I already had fried noodles in my mind then) So what do you intend to put in the fried noodles?

Mom: Um, prawns, fishcake, chilli...

CM: Will there be fried egg?

Mom: Yeah.

CM: Ok good but I want the fried noodles to be prepared just in time and not sitting there for hours ok? Will there be chicken?

Mom: Yup. Fried.

CM: So which part of the chicken is it? Wings, drumstick, the head maybe...?

Mom: Adoi! You're the king what, so it'd be drumstick of course!

CM: (Good answer heh heh) Deal. I'll be there at seven.

Mom: (Still didn't know what just hit her) Ok, call me when you're at Khatib MRT so I can prepare and get it ready by the time you reach here.

CM: Alright, love you.

Mom: Love you, bye.

So that's one way of closing a deal - the element of surprise. Heh heh.

Grim

2006-10-29T12:40:00.000+08:00

I've been having quite a ball organizing DVD nights for myself. It's quite fun. I think I enjoy being alone at home like this now that Liana is away in Hanoi, haha.

I rented The Brothers Grimm last night.

Ok it was a bore. An utter disappointment but I had to watch it since the story revolves around fairy tales and all.

I thought Heath Ledger overdid his nerd-with-a-lotta-side-issues character and I didn't like the whole brotherly rivalry thing they're trying to shove down people's throats. Took too much of the plot. And then there's Capaldi, some Italian guy who works for the French army in the movie who also overdid his already over-eccentric character.

What a bore. I wanna see action, a twist here and there, blood, gore, kill, kill, kill!

Um... .

Right ok. Seems once again I'm not being invited to crash anyone's home today I was thinking of doing that picnic I thought of doing the other day but the sky's not cooperating again. It's raining outside.

I don't think I'll rent another DVD so soon. I've watched all I wanna watch from Play!'s pathetic collection, there's no one to hang out with, so maybe I'll just do some housework, read the papers and rot at home. Neat.

Handy

2006-10-27T21:19:00.000+08:00

Been spending the last couple of days doing a little bit of DIY work.

Can't say I like it but it's necessary to keep the cost of setting up shop manageable.

Spent yesterday preparing some neon lights and my countertop we got from IKEA. Well it's not really a countertop. It's just a little dumb I don't even know what to call it but it took me two damn hours to assemble.

Most of the time I was cursing myself for not putting the metal brackets on first before I assembled everything. I couldn't imagine myself dismantling everything and redoing it from scratch again so I decided not to do with the brackets. Now my drawer slides in and out of the counter spastically.

After work I kept my promise to visit mom coz she made lontong with everything on top specially for me. I was quite disappointed she didn't make sayor lodeh on the first day of Eid. I mean, all that time I spent in the toilet for nothing... .

Leita was gonna prepare the lontong for me on a plate. I was flabbergasted beyond belief. I was like, "Katak (as I call her), you're using a PLATE?" She was like, "Oh oh sorry!" And then she took out the casserole bowl. Aaahhh, that's more like it.

Gone in sixty seconds. My mom's jaw dropped.

And today I spent a total of six hours sawing and sandpapering a few planks of wood. That's a whole lot of hours for a few pieces of wood but I really hate DIY work coz I suck at it. I should have taken Home Economics at school coz I was really bad at Technical.

Needless to say, even after all the time spent I still managed to come up with a few smaller pieces of jagged planks. I can't saw for nuts and I only sandpapered them to make the sides fit the cavity I'm gonna fix them into. Doesn't have to be pretty. I don't really care anyway.

Then I decided to do something positive for the sake of my sanity so I made a 3.293sec decision to go rent a DVD. E-mail newsletters work sometimes. I saw that Play! had some good new titles on so I took 0.5 for a ride to Toa Payoh Central to go get the Click DVD.

I wasn't disappointed. It wasn't the usual laugh-till-my-sides-split movie by Adam Sandler but it was good all the same.

I learned some good lessons in there. Like junk food is bad, smoking is bad, family is above all, yada yada yada bada bing but what really stuck to my mind was this exchange by some guy named Morty to Sandler's character, Michael.

"Do you remember the leprechaun in the cereal advertisement?"

"There he was spending all that time looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow only to find out that it was just a bowl of cornflakes."

Now that was funny and good. Says a lot.

...

2006-10-26T07:53:00.000+08:00

It was Perth Day yesterday. I was waiting the whole day to be invited to anyone's house for a visit but I got none so I made my own plans.

I was planning to watch Dead or Alive at the new big ass cinema at the new big ass Vivo City mall yesterday but it turned out it'd only be out on the screens today but today after work I have a date with mom to wallop the lontong that she promised.

So watching DOA got strucked off the list of things to do. The next plan I got was to bring a book and some snack, take 0.5 out for a ride, settle my butt on someplace green and declare myself a picnic but that one got washed too. Literally.

If you have always wanted a pet, you need only open your windows coz it was raining cats and dogs aplenty. It's a good thing to happen so I can't complain. Coupled with the fact that the Indonesians were too busy celebrating Eid to be burning forests, it helped to wash away the haze.

So I spent the day indoors. Apart from playing my computer game, I took time off to go out and get dinner and rent a couple of DVDs, Ice Age 2 and Memoirs of a Geisha.

Good movies they were. Thank God I made the right selections. Ice Age 2 made me laugh like heck, all by myself. I don't know how to describe how Good Geisha was but it's good. Just trust me on that.

I haven't been eating a lot like I had intended, at least by my own standard anyway but I sure have been smoking like a pre-Eid Indonesian forest. It gets me all excited knowing that I can smoke anytime I want again. Serves me right that I know have a sore throat and a runny nose.

I'm going to expect the development of my shop to pick up speed from now so there's certainly gonna be more things in store for me to do. I hope I'm up to the task.

Day 01 Eid 06

2006-10-24T18:32:00.000+08:00

Blogger's note: Apologies for a few lousy photos. It's confirmed. Waffles suck. Also apologies for a few shaky photos. I really shouldn't have um, er, entertained myself last night.

Anyway, the only other person to hold Waffles today was Lilies. So if I am in the photo and the photo's shaky, it's her fault. But what's her excuse? *raising eyebrows a few times* Heh.

So the plan was for me to go to The Wang's at Serangoon North at early 7ish today, drop mom's layer cake and scoot over to the Istiqamah Mosque across the road for my Eid prayers.

By the time I get back in about an hour, they should be all dressed and ready to go to mom's with me, but were they?

Nyet. Lazy buggers.

But after an hour more or so, there they were, all set to go.

No prizes for correctly guessing who the hunk beside Heidi is.

Bananas in pyjamas are running down the stairs. Bananas in pyjamas are coming down in pairs.

There we were a while later at mom's (technically it should be Leita's, my 2nd sis who's in the middle of this photo).

We miss each other, Leita and I. Can you tell?

Lilies and I. I managed to develop a small pimple right smack in the top middle of my forehead in the course of a few hours.

The Wangs getting comfy.

As usual, Wang could only muster the energy to be excited for 7.3998 seconds.

Yeeeeeah...

Mr Bola and Heidi having a ball at the mini swing.

What are they doing!?

Oh eeeyuks... so, so young!

Even I don't have that kinda luck.

Ok that's it. That's gross.

Dude!

Her handbag's getting more heavy than she was. And that's all paper in there! Paper money. Some people have all the luck, just because they're cute. Harrrumph!

Mom, do I still qualify for a handout? Pleeease?

Soon after, my stepbrother Rudi's family arrived. This is my nephew Zarie who's just enlisted in the police force for National Service. Good luck man, heh heh.

Lilies, my babe-in-the-making niece, Shereen and Rudi. I look up to this guy a lot.

Let's have another look. Yup. Definitely gonna make a few hundred men cry in the course of her life.

Usually a day like this ends up boring without Dickhead who's in the sky somewhere on this planet and Liana who's in Hanoi for two weeks but with free entertainment from clowns like these, it turned out to be quite alright.

And off we were packed like illegal immigrants in the back of Rudi's van to visit dad at Ren Ci.

Hey dad!

Some of you may have met Calamity Bike which has by now been sold.

Now meet Calamity Bike 0.5.

Why 0.5? Because usually a superhero's later editions of weapons and accessories are always better than the last one but this one isn't. Heh heh.

It's not really mine anyway. I loaned it from Lilies. We went to her place after Ren Ci. I just kinda asked her that if she wasn't using the bike to might as well let me use it. She said ok. I said ok. So I cycled for an hour back home on this rickety thing.

Well at least I got a chance to sweat away 3% of the fats I accumulated since morning. But man... my knees... my butt... Oh oh oh.

PS: ALL that unwanted fat in your body could turn out to be a life-saver some day :D

Fat hope

2006-10-24T05:57:00.000+08:00

So the time has come. It's Eid everybody!

I did manage to unload my stomach contents yesterday... four times for your information.

But the amazing thing is that they're not enough. Definitely not if I want to make enough space for all the junk I intend to fill myself with over the next couple of days.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Suraya for taking the trouble to provide me with the necessary information on performing Eid prayers. Yeah, I don't really wanna screw up like the last time. Heh.

Also, naturally, I'd like to wish everyone a great Eid! Go eat and grow fat!

Sleep on it

2006-10-23T04:58:00.000+08:00

I've been having this funny feeling in my tummy recently.

A large part of last week was spent with my stomach feeling gassy and everything and suddenly it became constipated at the weekend.

What the heck!? From one extreme to another. The challenges of fasting... .

Thank God today is the last day of Ramadhan, it's the last day of fasting for us Muslims and if I can get through this day, Delhi Belly or not, I'd cap myself another full month of fasting ever since I've made up my mind to commit myself to the idea last year.

See? I can commit myself to a cause, ya know?

But er, now I can't decide if I should spend the night at home, before scuttering to the mosque tomorrow morning, and then to Lilies' and then to mom's with her family OR to drag my stuff over to Lilies' straight from work this evening, then to the mosque in the morning, then to mom's with her family.

Guess I'll sleep on it for a while and decide when I wake up for work later.

Note to self: I HAVE to unload myself real soon. I mean, what is the use of having five stomachs if I can't use every single one of them to mow down ALL the stuff my mom's gonna dish out tomorrow morning right? C'mon stomach. You can do it.

Bright lights

2006-10-23T00:07:00.000+08:00

Liana, Lilies and I were at Geylang Serai on Saturday evening.

It was an impromptu thing. I just finished my dinner at KFC, when Liana text me to join her there and the next thing I knew, I was there with the two of them.

I didn't mind. For days I was dreaming about greedily devouring all the fattening and unhygienically-prepared street food over there. Hunky deep fried drumstick, barbecued beef floss, messy Ramly burger, I didn't care. I want 'em all. Bring it!

"Auntie, can we have EVERYTHING on your menu? It's for our brother."

"But I'll test a little first just to make sure."

"How come mine doesn't light up?"

Very pretty.

Yeah, we got ourselves one of those. And some other junk too. I'm just glad we survived the whole thing. Would have loved to take more photos but it was so crowded there was hardly any space to get a good angle on any shot or to even stop a while to shoot away.

Waffled

2006-10-21T05:04:00.000+08:00

I'm happy about how this week has turned out so far.

I get to familiarize myself with the whole running of an IT store thing at the other two [removed] as well as [removed] on top of busying myself with the setting up our upcoming third outlet. It makes me feel important again, to put it in a vain perspective.

Secondly, I got myself a new digicam which I've named Waffles for cheap.

Thirdly, I also took the time to hang out with people, friends (ok just one so far this week) and family.

Hung out with G on Wednesday doing nothing at Arab Street, visited my mom (Sis Leita and Mr Bola) at Yishun on Thursday and also managed to work something out at the last minute to hang out with The Wangs and Liana last night.

God knows how long it has been since I visited the Wangs' at Serangoon North. But together with Liana, who's flying to Vietnam with Jelte for a few days soon, I paid them a visit again after we had dinner together at some sucky place. I used to live with them for more than a year after my National Service before I moved to Braddell.

As usual, the place is as nice as when I left it (I'm not allowed to post photos) and I also thought they'd gotten themselves a very good helper recently. ~~Now to get an English-speaking Indonesian maid is something like a one in a million chance.~~ Ok I just found out she's Filipina. Just as well... .

I also took the opportunity to take photos of my favourite pet rabbit. Heh. No one said anything about this so here goes.

Ok actually I'm not totally happy about Waffles but now everyone knows it's not really a great idea to get a cheap digicam.

Unlike Cheeseburger, when I view my subjects at night, even with lighting available in the surrounding, I cannot see what I'm pointing at. It's all dark. I have to make a wild guess everytime I shoot it sucks. Anyone knows what I can do about this?

Lamb chop play along

2006-10-18T22:30:00.000+08:00

This whole process of setting up a shop at S.untec City is proving to be quite a challenge.

To put it simply, before we can even think about starting our renovation work, we'd have to first submit our renovation plan as well as electrical plan to the management. It's not that easy. They didn't accept our pencil on paper drawings.

They want a professionally done one in graphic and colours and fireworks! They wanna know how exactly the shop will look like and also where exactly every single light bulb will be placed. You get the drift.

On top of that, there is the application to activate the temporary power supply, the insurance, the utilities, the this, the that. Talk about a baptism of fire... . This is my first attempt at a proper business venture.

Things will be delayed unfortunately. Taking the long Deeparaya weekend this coming Saturday to next Wednesday into consideration, getting things to move will be a tall order. Hence, Max and I have pushed back our opening day by a week.

Empty house of m.ouse

So after work I decided that I needed to take a little breather.

I wanted to be alone but then nah, I didn't think so. So I decided to be alone with another loner for dinner at Arab Street near work, my friend, G. I also took pictures just because. They were kinda crappy. Don't know if it's the haze, the camera or just the me.

We had dinner at Amirah's Grill after hunting a while. The prices were affordable and the menu seemed good enough for me. I just wanted to devour something rich and fattening without having to sell my rear end for it.

We weren't disappointed. Although the place was a little warm what with little spotlights all over the ceiling pointing down, the food was really good and the portion big enough to fill all my five stomachs.

I stole some of G's beef kebab on top of my own lamb chop. Aaaah... lamb chop. Reminds me of the time I had in Perth... it was lamb chop galore... .

G also gave me this The Lonely Planet Story book to hopefully inspire me in my next big move in life. It says there,

"... thanks to their relentless spirit of adventure and thirty years of travel publishing, they've inspired generations of weirdos and not-so-weirdos to get out there."

Seems apt to me but I'm thinking, what's up with the lonely this and that and weirdos thing, eh? Haha.

Ode to my cheeseburger

2006-10-16T21:53:00.000+08:00

Goodbye cheeseburger!

Hello waffles!

I made a 3.484sec decision to get myself a spanking brand new Grandvision E82 digicam just now. It may not be the best of brands and specifications, but it is the best of the worst as far as I'm concerned, just like most of everything I own, plus it suits my basic needs.

Usual price of the digicam: $249.00
Usual price of 512mb SD card: $40ish
Total price I could've paid on any other day: $289.00

Unusual price of the digicam: $$159.00
Unusual price of 512mb SD card: $19.90
Total price I paid today: $178.90
Total savings I earned: $110.10

I thought it was a great deal even when compared to this particular digicam I saw on eBay the other day which is suspiciously similar to the one I got which would cost me a total of $259.00.

It's about time anyway.

1. Because Eid is coming and I don't know what people would think if I was to keep lugging a murder weapon around to their homes like I did last year. Not very friendly.

2. I'd love to be able to slip my digicam in my pocket and take it out whenever I like to shoot at things. Can't do that with the cheeseburger. Most times I'd have to drag it around. Other times, the opposite occurs.

3. I'd be sneaking time at work to shoot the products at my shop and post them on the Internet for sale in the shortest possible time. Can't keep waiting 10mins between shots as I did with the cheeseburger. That'd take too much time off serving walk-in customers or other form of work.

Throw the choppy waters, keep the calm, that's what I always say and now I gotta start to actually live it.

My cheeseburger had been a great companion on my adventures, forcing me to improve on my own photo-taking skills and upping the limit of my patience due to its lacking, but the time is now for it to take a looong rest. It's time to move on.

Thank you cheeseburger, for everything.

November reign

2006-10-15T19:47:00.000+08:00

Just a little update about what's going on.

1. I've left LC (the catering company I worked for) two days ago on Friday the 13th. I just had to include the date for dramatic effect.

2. I officially re-joined [removed] yesterday.

3. I have decided to stop pursuing Ann.

Looking back, there is one thing about me that I realize, that many would agree, that if I have one major weakness, it'd be that I rarely finish what I started. There's no shame in admitting to that because it is an undeniable fact.

I can only think of two events in my life where I haven't given up halfway and that is my O Levels which I took twice in order to make the cut for my course of choice in polytechnic (which I didn't complete in the end *rolleyes*) as well as my National Service which I didn't really have a choice unless I wanted to spend time in the Detention Barracks (it was a very tough decision haha).

But looking ahead, I have my immediate one year plan and I believe it is not impossible to achieve. Slowly does it.

So far, I have announced my declaration of intent for the coming year which is to save $10,000 and to get my driver's licence and now the time is apt for me to add one more - which is to run [removed] for at least a year as stipulated in the contract with [removed].

To quickly recap, [removed] is [removed]'s franchisor and together we have decided to open an IT store at [removed]'s new e-L.ife at Tower Five Level Two. As mentioned before, I do have my skepticisms with regards to this move but on the flipside, opportunities like this do not fall on one's lap very often.

For me, it's always been about running my own profitable business and if I don't grab the horns by its bull now, I don't know when an opportunity such as this would arise again.

Thing is, I'd have to push back my one year plan by three months to accommodate this development. Instead of August first 07, it's now gonna be November first 07.

I'd like to take this opportunity to seek moral support from everyone around me and also to understand that I may not be able to commit myself to anything other than Mouse in my day to day activities. I'm a one man show. If I don't turn up, I don't make money.

As such, I have also decided to lay off girls until further notice. Not that my gender preference have changed, just that recent developments in matters of the heart have proven yet again that I lack the patience to deal with the unnecessary wishy washyness of being involved in a romantic relationship one way or the other.

Friends are ok though. I work everyday 1100-2200hrs and have set aside Wednesdays as my Perth Day when I can pursue other things such as obtaining my driver's licence.

Other than those, I hope to squeeze some time in my busy schedule to still be able to hang out with people, get involved in WantToTrade.sg's events and marketing work, etc etc so help me God.

Majulah Calamity

2006-10-13T06:42:00.000+08:00

I've decided that Ann and I need to talk one of these days and I've told her so.

It's not only about what she wants out of this relationship, and I use that word loosely, it's also about what I want.

I've had enough of clapping air. I'm about to embark on a big step in my life and I cannot afford one part of my life to remain stagnant while the rest are trying to progress.

It's not always been about her although I seem to give that impression. I have also been using the last few months to figure out if I really want to be with her. There are some attributes of hers that I do not want to live with and I'm sure she has her own concerns about me.

In short, I need to know where we both stand with regards to us in order to move on.

Bizzaro fact: Did you notice all the paragraphs in this post all start with the letter "I"?

Bloggers' day night out

2006-10-09T23:00:00.000+08:00

It wasn't very nice to be stood up by the person you're trying to extend a hand to help but that's exactly what happened earlier.

But that's alright coz after that, as planned, I met up with fellow bloggers Yaslam and Lin for dinner and then some.

I suggested the nasi ayam penyet joint at Beach Junction called Ayam Penyet House. I'm on this life mission to discover a place that offers nasi ayam penyet as good if not better than the first authentic nasi ayam penyet I had months ago and they were just happy to be dragged along. Even if they weren't, I would've dragged them anyway.

They knew it was coming. The photos I mean.

Those clowns weren't us

In my opinion, this place had the closest thing to the first authentic nasi ayam penyet I had albeit by many, many kilometres, although it was definitely better than the last one I had at Lucky Plaza.

They just don't get it, do they? The secret in a superb nasi ayam penyet dish is the sweet flavour that comes out from the fermented beans, tofu, the side of vegetables and of course the chicken thigh which must be flattened (hence the "penyet" in the name). Only the damn rice should remain tasteless. And this comes from keeping the thingies dunked and boiled in a pot of secret concoction until they are about to be served. Only then they're taken out to be fried.

The street lights were out in full force to usher in Hari Raya

Anyway, we talked quite a lot. From Beach Junction to the Hari Raya Bazaar at Kampong Glam to a cafe at Arab street and back to Bugis MRT station. Covered everything mostly from the stuff we connect with from our blogs. Boring stuff like relationships, life in general, religion, money, Lin's attempt to activate her cousin just in case I turned out to be a psycho when she and I first met last week... . LOL!

Now THAT was hysterical.

That custom-made sign on the top right is sooo right for me. I want!

As mentioned, I've already met Lin. She's just a dorky girl, ditzy and all. Think she has a secret ambition to take over the Calamity superhero tag. Heh heh.

As for Yaslam, I've never had a sprinkling of a doubt that he was a nice guy judging from his comments and emails to offer his advice and to cheer me up whenever times are down. I was right.

We thought we'd leave Lin out of the picture coz she had this horrendously huge pimple on her nose

He's a family man with a great job and a well-balanced life kinda like the kind of things I want for myself. Sure things haven't been all rosy according to him, but he manage.

I'm sure we'll get to hang out again.

You know the universe is screwed up when even the moon is covered with sponsors

How it is going

2006-10-09T06:00:00.000+08:00

Oookay this is more like a note-to-self.

It's Perth Day today and these are the stuff I need to do... or else.

Noon: Contact Sister Mariah about meeting her up with regards to my proposal to utilize WantToTrade.sg as a platform for her non-profit China Muslim Silaturrahim charity work.

1230hrs: Our lease of the current place was successfully extended thanks to Dick and Liana's hard work so I can happily put away the stuff I packed a few days ago.

1330hrs: Figure out how to install and play my favourite Championship Manager 2 game on my laptop before I decide to have it for Iftar later coz to be frank I'm getting a little cheesed off here harrrumph.

1700-1815ish: Meet Sister Mariah sometime between Asar and Maghrib anywhere she likes.

1845hrs: Possibly meeting up with Lin and Yaslam for Iftar somewhere in Beach Road (waiting for Yaslam's email response as I type) and perhaps to hang out with them a little while more after that.

The Salvation Army Youth Development Centre

2006-10-07T05:40:00.000+08:00

The Salvation Army Youth Development Centre

"Heart to God, hand to man"

This is the 4th year YDC has been involved in youth work since its official opening in 2003. Direct involvement in multiple youth projects and public awareness, has helped the Centre to mature and develop its programmes.

The Centre’s vision is to be a place of excellence, where youth are celebrated, cultivated in character, and challenged to lead purposeful lives. In short, we want to build roots and grow wings.

Currently we are in the process of renovating our premise at Kallang Bahru in order to offer the kids a more conducive environment to develop and we are in need of a few items to achieve that.

Please have a look at our wishlist and if you would like to donate your items, you can find our contact details at the bottom or simply contact us directly here.

Thank you and God bless.

Prehistoric photos

2006-10-04T17:11:00.001+08:00

I was packing my things just now when I found some really old pictures of me and my family. Some are reeeally old.

Some of you may be trying to hide your past or something so before I begin I'd like to apologise in advance to anybody whose unflattering photos of yore I'm gonna put up real soon.

...
.....
.......

NAH!

Dick, Liana's ex Tin Tin and I. Hired mafiaso.

You wouldn't wanna mess with us. We were scary-looking.

No one dared to go near Lilies. Even the bees stayed away from the flowers.

Oh Gaaawd. Seriously man, what was I thinking with a suede shirt and all...? Notice Lilies turning pale. She was actually suffocating but she likes to suffocate in style so she made the effort to smile for the camera first.

Aiyoh, chokers? Friendship bands?

My first girlfriend. As you may have guessed, I was only after her skirt. Good for her we didn't last. I'm so sorry for being such a jerk. She's a good girl and deserved better at the time.

Aw... all the siblings together. Yeap yeap yeap, the fat kid was me. But the kid on my left was WHO? Liana? What? You kidding me? NAW. You sure?! *covering agape mouth with both hands*

Uh-hmm, once upon a time my brother WAS shorter than I was.

Scuba glasses were the rage at the time. Notice Leita was actually skinny at one point of her life. One thing remains the same though. Her BIG hair.

On the left is the woman who used to raise me since I was a baby, my grandma. On the right is the woman who's always made it happen by putting food on the table no matter what, my mom. Anyway, only one person in this photo brushed her teeth that morning. Guess who?

Reluctant nomad

2006-10-04T14:18:00.000+08:00

All my bags are packed... am I ready to go?

These, I will be dumping

These, I will take with me

Just a few more things left unpacked. When the time comes, I'll just grab whatever that's left (mostly the stuff that I use frequently), dump them in the green army duffel bag above, grab a cab and go.

Where to? I don't know. Wish I was in Perth or someplace with actual space, so it wouldn't matter. It'd be perfectly normal.

Anyway, I'm having a mini garage sale. Soccer boots, wallets, books... Check it out.

Bleak tomorrow

2006-10-04T06:27:00.000+08:00

I just realized that my sole contribution on Tomorrow.sg is the top popular read with 17,028 readers at present.

17,028 reads and ZERO comments. Zilch. Nyet. Nada.

Pretty much sums up my whole life actually.

I feel like having a clown for breakfast.

Heart to Heart

2006-10-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

Heart to Heart is a non-profit, non-government aided welfare set-up initiated by Teresa Hsu. The Service reaches out to the poor and needy by providing them with food and monetary assistance every month.
The driving forces behind Heart to Heart are Teresa Hsu and Sharana Rao. Teresa is 105 and Sharana is more than half a century years old.

They are always in need of food donations and below is a list of items they have submitted to WantToTrade.sg:

1) Instant Noodles
2) "Super" Coffee-mix 3-in-1.
3) Milo 3-in-1
4) Sugar (1 kg bag)
5) Cooking Oil (1 litre)
6) Rice (5 kg bag)
7) Soya Bean Curd with Sesame Oil - non-spicy (Bottled 130g each)
8) Milk Powder (700g bag)
9) Bath soap (6 pieces)
10) Washing powder (1kg bag)
11) Fresh Vegetables
12) Eggs
13) Peanut Butter (170gm) &
14) Others (e.g. old clothing in wearable condition, books, etc)

If you are keen to take part in the food distribution or offer transportation or cash donations, please contact Heart to Heart directly here.

Calamity Kut Teh

2006-10-03T13:20:00.000+08:00

I'm in a little bit of a predicament here.

So [removed] said that he currently has enough staff for his other shops. The earliest he'd need me is after the 20th this month.

Problem is I feel there is a conspiracy against me at work and it's gaining wind. Before this, I admit that it could have been a figment of my imagination but now I'm quite certain of it.

In line with my company's other weird policies, when you don't work, you don't get paid. Doesn't matter if you're a full timer. And another weird policy is that everyone would only know what they're schedule is like the next day one day beforehand.

In short, when you work for LC, you're not only expected, but also very much required to surrender your life to the company. They not only pay you for your expertise, for their money, they also own your soul. You're that cheap.

It's tough to plan our lives out a few days ahead.

For instance, I only got to know I was to have the day off yesterday on Sunday, I just got up from bed yesterday only to receive a call from the office to inform me that I was gonna be off today too and I just got a call an hour ago to tell me that I'm off yet again tomorrow!

That's three days off in a row! It's madness! This amount of money could pay for the monthly allowance I give my mom!

Ishak doesn't like me and the bosses think I'm just an overpaid odd job labourer. I think they're trying to squeeze me out.

What am I to do?

Eid is coming, I gotta find a new pad within the next couple of weeks (can't expand more on this) and my new life at [removed] only begins November first.

What do I do between now and then for money? Who'd want to employ someone who's only available for a few weeks?

And away we go!

2006-10-02T07:14:00.000+08:00

So WantToTrade.sg's finally up and running.

If you've got stuff to barter, like bottles or butter, you know where to go. Or you could even donate them to the charity organizations affiliated with us.

No trading of butts or butterflies though. We do not condone vice or trading of living things. We'll kick your bottoms, no buts about that.

But it's no bother if you have nothing to barter and only wanna chill out with Bob, Betty, Bradley and Little Bo Peep on our message board.

Better check out the exciting bargains by our partners exclusive only to our members too while you're at it.

Don't just SIT there and stare! Come on in!

Click me, dum dum

What class...

2006-10-01T04:50:00.000+08:00

One of life's little miracles is when you take a different route to work to avoid getting wet from the rain only to chance upon a little shop that sells handphone hands-free kits at only six bucks a piece after months of not having one and not being able to listen to Class 95 on the radio while out and about like you always do.

Ugly people

2006-09-30T04:48:00.000+08:00

I don't know where to begin.

Something happened at work yesterday which I believe has affirmed the fact that it's not worth it for me to stay at LC.

It's much ado about nothing, really. A storm in a teacup. I couldn't believe it actually happened.

There's this little issue about me coming to work in my black jeans especially when I'm supposed to be out-stationed at events for the company.

I don't see why that is an issue. I know I am well-dressed. I look way better in jeans than most people do in pants.

In fact, I was out-stationed at the mother of all events a few days ago at the Istana and none of the three-star generals or heck, not even the President bothered if I was wearing jeans or pants or underwear outside or pantyhose on my head. Someone even praised (at least I'd like to think so) me by saying I looked so good I could be a gigolo.

Yesterday morning Ishak, my dummkopf manager, called to remind me to wear proper pants to work as I'd again be out-stationed to an event. Not wanting to argue, I said ok. I did wear pants (as opposed to wearing jeans) to work.

This guy is one of a few beings in the universe who cannot see another guy come close to his position at work and he'd go all out to make sure all threats are thwarted.

Being younger, more intelligent and obviously more good-looking than he is, I am hence considered such a threat. At this juncture, I've had about enough tolerating this m^&$ot$$her@#@$f's offensive like a sitting duck.

I have served at least at a supervisory level at my past jobs in FNB since I completed my service in the army and in all those times, I'd get a certain amount of authority the moment I walk into my first day on the job.

Over here, I'm always thrown into doing odd jobs. Washing 200 over apples, wiping this and that, rearranging the stores, transferring 30 over loaded carton boxes from the first floor to the second... . What the heck?

Excuse me, we do have odd job workers for that. I am supposed to share his load in executing the operations. But someone wants to be the only lion on the mountain... . The best thing is the bosses aren't doing anything about it.

I know that respect has to be earned but if I'm always being thrown at doing odd jobs, eventually people will think that I am one of the odd job workers. I learn nothing about operations. In fact, anyone can tell me to do anything and they're supposed to be my subordinates! There's no proper chain of command.

Back to the jeans issue, from afar Ishak shouted to ask if I brought along my pants. I shouted back, "Then what is this I'm wearing!?"

Ishak: Those are pants?!

CM: Yes! (Pissed off as I know he's trying to find fault with me)

Ishak: Looks like jeans to me!

CM: It's NOT! (as I muttered some profanities under my breath, shook my head in disbelief and ignored him)

The next thing I know, he called me to say that Iris, one of the bosses wanted to see me upstairs.

Iris: CM, I believe it's time for you to get a proper pair of pants.

CM: I AM wearing a proper pair of pants.

Iris: You are?

CM: (Yes stupid fcuk) Why don't you come over to see? Is this jeans or is this pants?

She came over to feel the material on my pants. I knew that she knew she'd made a mistake from the look in her eyes but she refused to admit it and kept lecturing me on why I should get myself a proper pair of pants.

I said, "Why is this not proper? Am I not wearing pants?" and walked out.

Once downstairs, Mr Dummkopf wanting to vent his frustration on me, told me to load one of the lorries. By myself. When there were a million other people around.

He knew I was fasting (while he wasn't) but I told myself if he wanted to score points with the bosses by taking it out an me, he could go right ahead. I'll keep scoring points with God. Let's see who wins. Fancy one Muslim treating another Muslim this way on such a holy month like this.

He's like a small kid. Every little thing he'd go upstairs and complain to mommy and daddy. Whiny, whiny, whiny. "Mommy, mommy, CM won't listen to me, boohoo." And mommy and daddy are stupid enough to believe him wholesale every single time. Spoilt brat!

My overview of the matter is that:

1) Mr Dummkopf will always be a brat
2) The bosses will forever be quick to jump to conclusions without investigating the root of the matter as well as never admit their mistakes no matter how obvious
3) I'll never thrive in this company

My plan was to actually keep this job until the last days of Ramadhan (around the 24th of October), take a few days off to celebrate Eid (popularly known as Hari Raya in this parts) which comes after Ramadhan, and be in time for Mouse's opening at [removed] on November first but looking at things, I'd have to speed things up a little.

I'm gonna ask Max if he'd take me in sooner at either of his current shops. We'll take it as training in preparation for me to run one of the outlets on my own soon. If he says ok, I'll leave this hellhole at a drop of a hat.

Flotsam

2006-09-29T04:55:00.000+08:00

Been having something like an out of body experience of late.

It's like I'm outside looking in and everything around me is just whizzing past while I'm moving in s-l-o-w motion.

Whoosh, zoom, whizz!!!

I'm...like...duuuuh... .

Could it be because of the fasting?

Could it be because I'm dragging my feet at work?

Or the fact that my bank balance is depleting fast?

Maybe because 70% of me is not sure about getting involved in the [removed] venture?

That WantToTrade.sg is going LIVE soon and I'm not sure if I've done enough of my share of things when all my partners seem to be doing so much more?

Perhaps the Ann question too?

I'm not sure, really. I need help. Thing is, with what?

Mouse revived

2006-09-27T04:45:00.000+08:00

So it's obvious that I'm looking for other income-generating opportunities. I really don't see why anyone should subject themselves to being miserable. And like I told my siblings, it's for everyone's own good, so no one gets killed. Hur hur.

I don't like the idea of me being oppressed, suppressed, compressed and all. Talking about that, I think I have a new mission in life. I want to help little people, people littler than I am, who are trapped in unconducive working environments.

People like the foreign workers who contribute to our national growth but are treated like roadside dirt, people who got affected by the changing global climate of down-scaled salaries while expenses keep rising like hell, people who the government use as cash-cows in their working life who are then conveniently forgotten when it's time for them to retire and enjoy the twilight of their lives, etc.

Someday I'm gonna write a piece on this on thesecretgem.com when I have a few hours to myself and then I'll see how I can go from there in my new mission in life. It's always been about helping little people where I'm concerned. I just need to be specific and I believe this is it.

Back to me, obviously, this blog is about me right? Why I didn't say that I'm looking for another job is because I'm not particularly looking for another. Who knows, besides wanttotrade.sg, I might venture into another business instead of working per se.

wanttotrade.sg will take time to mature but it'd be nice if I could do something else hand in hand with it. It'd be fully operational next week and there's still stuff I haven't done in time for that. But I will.

I've been talking to a few people and one who is being lined up is [removed]. [removed]. The IT accessories guy.

He's been keeping me in the loop about certain ideas he has and he did it again last week about opening a little old shop at the proposed [removed] department at [removed] which is being set on Harvey Norman's former location.

Word has it that they're developing [removed] as an IT hub within the mall with little booths inside and Max is interested in one that is about 190 square feet. Thing is, there is a dumb pillar within the site which takes 50 square feet off and the result is a shop the size of a foodstall in a foodcourt or about 1/3 the size of my really tiny living room.

I might be having a look-see at it this evening to determine if it is indeed a good move to get involved in a shop that size. I mean, with a shop that tiny, what can I pack in there? The stuff I sell has to be fast-moving and very specific. PLUS, my competition's all around me. I'd be a mouse among other mice.

But one thing we trashed out last night when I met him is how we're gonna work on it between us where money is involved. Crucially, what my cut would be.

I'd say I've negotiated quite a package for myself. I know I'm desperate but I tried hard not to let it show coz I know he too is desperate to get out of the retail side of his business and concentrate more on procurement and distribution.

So it's a battle of who is more desperate (sic).

The deal is this. I need to earn $40,000 and above per month for the shop in order to enjoy the share of profits. But no fret. Anything below that amount, I'd still get $x,xxx so my ass is covered.

Of course I don't just want my ass to be covered coz that'd mean the shop would be operating at a loss or just breaking even. In the long term, I get an option to take over the shop in a year's time and an opprtunity to take over his entire retail operations in future as a franchise. That is the whole idea in general. That would be my aim should I decide to be involved.

But first thing first. I have to look at the [removed] shop and the environment surrounding it tonight after my iftar. No point jumping for the sake of jumping. It has to be worth it. Just like what I think wanttotrade.sg is.

I've decided that from today, EVERYTHING I do shall be worth it.

Brake

2006-09-26T06:24:00.000+08:00

So judging from the photos of my brother's birthday party on Sunday, everything seemed fine and dandy on my side.

The fact is further from the truth.

It was not only my brother's birthday party then, it was also the first day of our fasting month of Ramadhan and I was looking forward to celebrating both my Iftar (break of fast indicated by the evening prayer) and the party with my family.

So I've decided very early on that I had two choices: Either I leave work early to be with my family or, I leave work early to be with my family.

With choices like that, the decision was simple. I left work early to be with my family.

I've had enough of being worked to death. At 1530hrs on Sunday, I was already hanging on to my last breath, my body parts were aching and I was having trouble keeping my eyelids open. I declared myself done for the day, punched my card and left for home.

Whew! What a relief! I really didn't care anymore. So, so drained out I don't know if there's any word in the English dictionary to describe how I felt.

I managed to slide in two hours of nap at home before I got changed and took a cab to my brother's at Pasir Ris to link up with the rest.

The two hours of power nap helped a lot. I was still tired but at least I could feel myself connecting with people. I didn't just want to be there in body, I wanted to be there in spirit too. It's my brother's birthday!

For the record, Ann didn't make it. Said she wanted to spend the first Iftar of the Ramadhan with her dad and I had to respect that.

Yesterday was the first Perth Day I had after so long. It felt long although it's just over two weeks. Normally I could take this form of suffering but when one has been stretched to the limit every single minute of every single day for many days running, one would also surrender in the end, like I have.

Not embarrased to say it.

I had my Perth Day plan of which my priorities were:
1) Wash the toilet
2) Get myself slippers for use at home
3) Sign up for my driver's licence

But I didn't achieve those objectives. After going back to sleep after sahur (mealtime before start of fast) at 0630hrs or so, I woke up at around 1215hrs.

Got changed, went for a spot of shopping at Toa Payoh Central nearby, got myself three t-shirts for $9.70, some Tim Tam cookies and Enervon C vitamins, went to Yishun, made a split second decision to watch Miami Vice at the Yishun 10 cineplex and straight to my mom's after.

Haven't seen her for so long. Everyone needs to be replenished with soul food once in a while. I'm no different. Ann still couldn't make it coz she had a night class going on.

I love the t-shirts I got, thought Miami Vice was a rip off and had two helpings of my mom's chicken soup and rice. Chicken soup for the soul.

I felt my soul coming back to me after the first sip at Iftar. I didn't even think about having my drag of cigarette first like I usually do. And then I had a few more sips, finished two bowls in the end and completely felt like a new man after.

My English is very good, not shy to say this, but I thought Miami Vice as all English movies in cinemas in Singapore or even the world, need to be accompanied by English subtitles. That's what I'd do when I watch DVDs at home, I turn the English subtitles on.

Because why? Because there were some accents in the movie that I didn't catch. I know Colin Farrell tried hard, but he didn't really manage to mask his Irish accent well. There were so many other weird accents in the movie especially Gong Li's.

In the end, I just gave up and tried to understand the plot instead, which in my opinion didn't help much, because the whole movie was a letdown.

Whatever.

At least I got to spend some time with my sis Leita and Mr Ball Ball watching Hady Mirza win the second instalment of Singapore Idol on TV. For me, it didn't matter who wins it in this instalment coz I felt the other guy, Jonathan Leong, although not as talented as Hady, was a sincere guy and that is a strong point in my book.

Dick Birthday 06

2006-09-25T04:34:00.000+08:00

So Dickhead, my not-so-little little brother poured out his soul to us in an email yesterday telling us how down he was in spite of everything.

It was the weekend before his birthday.

None of us responded. Little did he know that we had something planned out for him.

Man, the look in his eyes... like a deer in headlights!

While everyone was waiting for the lead star, I took the opportunity to grab a shut eye.

Liana on the other hand, was preparing to whip some turkey (ayam belanda, heh heh). The turkey didn't look too happy, oooooh...

SURPRISE! "Who? Wha-? When?! Where? Whyyyeee? Hoooow???

The spread. Disposables courtesy of The Calamity Man's company, heh heh.

The cake.

I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll sprinkle the cake with my saliva!

Want some?

So kawaii!

Group shot.

Didn't realize there was a vampire among us.

Still didn't.

What is life without some close friends...?

Me and the main man.

Just chillin'.

Caught in the middle of devouring food, Dick and I. Nothing new.

Slacking around.

Lilies' helper, Eva and Heidi sharing a light moment.

Tea ceremony? On a birthday?

*rolleyes*

Aw man! An All-blacks shirt!

Signing off with a cool photo of the youngest three.

Breakdown

2006-09-23T05:47:00.000+08:00

I'm extremely exhausted. Have not had a day off for two weeks. It's been a very challenging period.

First off, we were involved in preparing and delivering food, drinks and dessert to the police personnel at various locations in Singapore till the 20th in conjunction with the IMF meeting here.

The number of personnel rises and falls but on average, we feed about 700 of them daily, five freaking times a day. God bless them for keeping us safe, and us for keeping their morale up.

We're talking about packing food for them in takeaway boxes like in a production line and in some places, we have to lift boxes and boxes of food up staircases to be able to reach them. Back-breaking, knee-busting, mind-screwing stuff.

After the 20th, we thought we'd be able to catch our breaths but due to the nature of the management, we had none of that. In fact, more such big orders are to follow. The company I work for is a specialist in serving government bodies. There's no way the top people would say no to them.

I'm breaking down and breaking apart.

Yesterday, I felt my body shutting down. Felt nauseous, had a bad migraine and wanted to vomit.

The moment I reached home, I just took my shower, performed my prayers, took my vitamins and my nightly glass of milk and hit the sack without dinner. Had no energy left in me to go buy or make myself anything to eat.

Don't know how long more I can last. I wonder how the people who's been in the company longer manage to survive so long. I truly respect them. This whole thing reminds me of the times I was serving in the army. I didn't really enjoy it.

Mission Possible

2006-09-21T20:10:00.000+08:00

Mission two: To get a driver's licence

D-Day: 31st July 07

So there. Yet another declaration of intent from me. Why? Because it opens doors.

So now I've got in total two missions to run concurrently till 31st July 07.

1) To raise $10,000
2) To get a driver's licence

If it's in God's will, I shall achieve these. Other than that, only one person in this universe can stop me.

Me.

Anyway, I am looking for someone along the lines of a personal trainer to guide me in attaining Mission two.

Please keep me in the loop. thecalamityman @ gmail . com

Some days

2006-09-21T06:25:00.000+08:00

Some days I don't know if I'm dealing with Ann, Anna, Annie or Anne.

Some days I just don't wanna give a damn.

Some days I think I should, not give a damn that is.

Some days I ponder about why I should.

Some days there are no answers.

You know you want to

2006-09-15T06:48:00.000+08:00

Three of my friends and I have been busy working on coming up with this web portal for the last couple of months.

WantToTrade.sg is a portal that brings together people who have one thing in common - to exchange items with one another for no money. It's the new eBay and we believe the idea will catch on.

It's a concept based on online communities where members not only log in for the purpose of trading 2nd hands items, but to also just hang around and chit chat in the message boards, share their product reviews, take part in the many promotions by our other partners and so on.

It was an idea started when Paddy was trying to sell off the LCD TV that his wife had won at a lucky draw sometime back. He posted the TV on Yahoo Auction expecting people to actually bid for it but some suckers bargained with him instead.

Typical, typical but they knew the TV was acquired at no cost and assumed that Paddy and Izel would settle for anything since even $0.01 is a profit as they paid nothing for it. It was a frustrating experience for them.

Paddy thought what if he could exchange his TV for something else that he needed instead? Is there an online source for that? He did some research, I was also asked for my opinion, one thing led to another, I thought it was a great concept and told him that I'd be interested to work with him if he wanted to take this thing to the next level.

So there. The short history of WTT.

We have a gameplan, the four of us.

Anyway, from the first day of WTT's launch to the next 30 days, we'd like to offer businesses to put up a 468 x 60 pixels size banner on WTT free of charge so you can judge for yourself how effective it is.

Just imagine the number of eyeballs seeing your company's banner and taking part in your promotions? So why not consider us as a positive leverage for the growth of your business?

We're currently on a roll, so don't wait any longer. thecalamityman @ gmail . com is the email you should reach.

WTT is out in stores soon. While stocks last. Batteries not included.

Bollywood clown

2006-09-13T06:48:00.000+08:00

Apparently Ann has been, how shall I put this, pursued by this Nepali guy from work since last week.

No wonder.

It meant that every sms and phonecalls were met with scorn, including mine.

What the fudge?

I told her I knew something was not right, that's why I backed off a little but in future to not leave me out in the cold like that again coz although I could feel something was wrong, I didn't know the head or tail of what's going on.

The clown has been calling and sms-ing her day and night incessantly, asking for her whereabouts, throwing romantic words at her in Hindi, hinting marriage, eeyuk.

Ann is hot stuff and I know this sort of thing is always gonna happen but inside, I feel it's not fair to lump all guys together and make everyone pay just because of some clown.

In all honesty, it's not something I wanna live with. One of us has got to deal with it.

Curse of the pirate

2006-09-11T20:19:00.000+08:00

I nearly bit someone's head off at work, my colleague's.

He's the sort who talks more than he works trying to give the impression that he's da man but I read him like a FHM magazine. Every single page.

He's also been trying to act smart with me in all my short time here like as though I'm some green horn in this industry and that's stepping on my tail. I am new in this company and I'm younger than most but I'm certainly no green horn. I tried to remain calm, grit my teeth and go on as usual hoping he'd finally step off my tail but unfortunately he didn't.

Silence doesn't mean cowardice. In being silent I was trying to swallow some pride, learning everything I can from everyone in the quickest possible time.

So yesterday my blood just shot up my brain when he ordered me to do something and "point-point-point" with his fingers at it and kept repeating himself like a runaway machine gun like he always does.

Nevermind about me being his superior, everyone's trying to earn an honest living, but that to me is lacking in manners. In my dictionary, you don't boss people around even if you're the boss. You ask politely, or you simply ask. No need to pretend you're da man at the expense of other people.

My sister Liana told me before that I'm most fluent in Malay when I'm cursing and at that point I have to say that my Malay was indeed like poetry... recited by a pirate that is.

The more he responded the more I talked down to him. Very hurtful words that I shan't repeat here. Gave him a sample of his own medicine so he knows how it tastes like. Fortunately for him, he backed down after we've been trading words for a few minutes.

A wise decision by him I would say for I was very prepared to bite his head off.

Everyone saw what happened but the aftermath was more positive than I expected. After that incident, I just kinda shrugged everything aside but seems to me I have actually earned a little bit of respect and authority from a few people afterwards for standing up to the idiot who also happens to be public enemy numero uno.

Whatever.

Boys' night out

2006-09-10T10:40:00.000+08:00

Had an impromptu boys' night out with three of my colleagues last night.

It was after work, all of us were feeling blue, when suddenly Man suggested that we go hit the karaoke joint nearby.

Almost in unison we all said, "Let's go!"

I didn't sing much but at the end of everything the boys were impressed with my vocals. Sometimes I wonder how a clown like Joakim got to hit the limelight at the expense of thousands of naturally talented singers (haha) like yours truly and killing the dreams of many more in the process (hoho).

I was hanging out with guys who have no clue about pop music, electronica, jazz, blues, RnB and all so I had to keep reminding myself not to play songs in these categories. I didn't wanna embarrass myself. I mean, I'd get stick if I even think about putting on The Backstreet Boys, man!

I still got stick anyway. The boys knew what's going down with me so they put on song after song which usually go like this: Boy gives everything, girl doesn't appreciate, boy decides to back off so no one gets hurt.

Ha bloody ha.

The funny thing was, I don't know where she drew inspiration from, but Ms My-life-is-so-complicated-I-confuse-myself (MLISCICM) finally decided to call me again after freezing me out for a couple of days without any rhyme or reason, after we were done at the karaoke joint.

Don't ask me why, it's like walking on broken glass here on Planet Venus. She called to talk for a bit about her day and to inform me that she was on the way to meet three of her mates at Great World City for a girls' night out even though she wasn't feeling well.

I was like, whatever. What am I, some freaking vending machine?

Pause

2006-09-05T13:57:00.000+08:00

I don't really like to go to my former company's many foodcourts but sometimes I just cannot avoid it since they have so many going around. Reason is, people recognize me and I actually couldn't be bothered to keep up with the formalities when all I want is just to eat and run.

Near where I live, there are two - Kungfu and FNS. There is also a Banquet, which has nithing to do with my former company but where non-Malay or Indian Halal food is concerned, I of course give FNS the priority. Not sure why, maybe I just feel like a traitor if I don't.

As usual, whenever I step into any FNS, I get a resounding welcome no matter how busy the workers are. I was at the Toa Payoh branch for lunch.

For 15 minutes I just stopped at every stall to say hello to the staff, exchanged a few words and waved around to everyone like a right Miss Universe. This is the only place where I feel appreciated by not the upper management (I don't really care if they each get swallowed by a whale) but by the people so it's the least I could do.

Every single person I spoke to asked me to come back and be their manager again. It happens all the time. I don't know if they'll ever stop.

The thing is I still haven't settled down at LC, my current company and I don't think I ever will.

Firstly, I detest the "us against them" culture where the mortals and management both do not trust each other. Each would blame the other if something goes wrong instead of working together as a team. When you're the supervisor, you get stuck in the middle like beef patty in a cheeseburger.

Secondly, it's a sweatshop in there and I despise being treated like a coolie with no opinion, no influence, no control, no authority and no responsibility. I always believe that I'm made for greater things. Humble pie is not my thing.

Thirdly, CCTV cameras are for anti-crime measures but the damn fools use them to spy on their workers instead. Can't take a short smoke break, can't go for a pee break, can't talk while having a ten minutes lunch, can't answer the phone, can't respond to SMSes. We have to sneak around like little rascals which I feel is a blow to my pride. We're all adults here, aren't we?

On hindsight, I think about the amount of money I can potentially take home each month and it brings me back down to Earth. It's something being a foodcourt manager cannot ever achieve in my knowledge.

What is important to me, I have to nail down soon. Is it the money or to be treated like a human being?

If FNS can fulfil my conditions, which is to automatically gain a higher position, a higher salary and to NEVER involve me in the issues of any of our other outlets, I might consider going back. After all, it'd still fit nicely into my plans till next August.

Right ear

2006-09-02T21:14:00.000+08:00

I sent Liana a text just now saying, "I don't know what it is about me that makes people wanna pour their hearts out to me. I feel it's a burden after the initial feeling of being proud."

I didn't really wanna send a looong sms message but I think she got what I meant.

The thing is, I've only been around at this job for almost six weeks but a few of my colleagues have found me trustworthy enough to share the things that they don't share with other people. Really deep stuff.

It's not only at this job or this place or this organization, it's everywhere.

You know, all I want till next August is to clock in, do my job, clock out, live an honest life, earn an honest living, put some money aside for my plans next August, hopefully to meantime get a driver's license, maybe learn to swim, ~~perhaps score some chicks (heh heh)~~, probably get a certificate in something...

I didn't really wanna bother about anything else outside my ownself, but when I think about it for a while just now, I realize that I'm just being a selfish bas...ketball.

So out of concern, I called Man* after my prayers just now to find out how he was doing. He was practically going on and on about what he's going through right now while we were at work today.

He's almost twice my age so I had to be tactful. All I said was, "Man, I know you're way more experienced than I am in life but if you'd just listen out to me, whatever it is that is bothering you, please do not do anything stupid. Remember you've got a family and five kids and all. If you really need to explode, give me a call. You know my number. We can talk."

We talked for a little more. I listened mostly. I think that's the key. I listen more than I talk. I mean, two ears, one mouth... it's a no-brainer. Maybe that's why people look for me for these things. I just realized that I have this power so I might as well use it to make the world a better place in my little corner.

Anyway, Man said to not treat him as a friend but instead treat him like a brother. I may be younger than he is, but if my advice is worth looking into, there is no reason not to take it up. In turn I could approach him if I need advice myself. I don't know how he heard but he knew I got girl problems recently. I told him it's all settled now but if it happens again, I'd know who to look for.

Don't ask me how the next message is related to this topic but it is.

Advertisement:
If you're looking for a helper at home or someone who is used to working in the kitchen, someone who is committed, diligent, doesn't skive, knows how to cook and bake damn well, please reach thecalamityman at gmail dot com .

I'll supply the details you need. All we ask is for an employer who treats his or her employees with dignity and humanity.

If you don't fit the bill, please don't bother writing in.

*Name has been changed as I'm still trying to figure out how plants with red leaves absorb sunlight.

Mission to Venus

2006-08-30T21:10:00.000+08:00

In a great turn of events, yesterday wasn't THE ending ladies and germs.

In fact, yesterday was the beginning.

The adventures of Calamity Man continue.

To calamity. And beyond!

Click to enlarge

Food rot

2006-08-27T20:52:00.000+08:00

Enrico*, my ex-colleague at FNS 399* dropped by my neighbourhood just now to collect the set of keys for the foodcourt that I'd been holding on to.

He'd be leaving the $%^&!!! place on the 6th himself. Couldn't take the pressure of being on a sinking ship any longer. I already saw it coming.

News has it that Benjol*, the guy who brought me into the company who also later become Kungfu's* (FNS 399's parent company) most hated guy, has been asked to leave due to some money-related isuues and his last day of service is on the 19th next month.

Also, FNS 399 is no longer called that ever since they switched to a non-Halal concept in a desperate attempt to increase revenue through the sale of beer. It's called Kungfu 399 now.

According to Enrico, sales has been shyte ever since the conversion as our regular customers, for instance the folks at the mosque, have stayed away.

Ha ha ha. They poured in close to $100,000 to redo the place just six months after its grand opening and the result is even worse than before they started! Stupid, stupid big people at Kungfu.

I'm sure they will not collapse overnight but I, The Calamity Man, have already warned them that this would happen. FNS 399 was slowly gathering momentum and the last thing it needed was for this conversion to screw things up.

No one had the crown jewel's to stand up to the boss and tell him my case scenario. Everybody thought The Calamity Man's viewpoints hold no water, noooooobody wanted to listen to the little guy... .

Sorry, I just had to let it out.

*Obviously names have been changed because I feel like scratching my left foot now.

The best loser

2006-08-22T18:31:00.000+08:00

I finally got paid today... but it was deducted by $195 because of the church incident.

There are a million things I think I could do with that amount of money but the funny thing is, I'm not feeling bad about it at all.

In fact, I feel it's a blessing.

A blessing because when I think about it in the greater scheme of things, I was actually the smallest loser of all involved.

1) The church was expecting a 20% discount ($1000ish) but they only got 10.
2) My company (I've decided to call it LC from now on coz I just cannot be bothered to type out something longer than that) not only lost 10% of revenue, they also lost a potential repeat customer. That's $5000ish x n no of years.
3) Phil, my partner in crime at that time lost his job, this incident being the mother of all last straws as far as Don was concerned.
4) I only lost money. No sweat.

Self-reflecting a little bit, isn't it amazing how after being the main culprit in this whole calamity, I still only came out with a scratch?

I get paid fortnightly and the best thing is, I was shocked to see my nett salary when I got it just now. It's the BIGGEST amount I've received in all my sad life for half a month's work. After the deduction, I still received more than my basic nett salary.

Wow.

God is amazing, masya-Allah.

Heart to say

2006-08-16T21:56:00.000+08:00

The honeymoon period is over at work and now after three weeks, I think I'm better able to come up with an educated opinion on it.

It worries me that the general concensus among the mortals is that the manager, Ishak*, is a pond scum.

I've not been at the butt of his attacks yet so I've nothing against him. I'm no one to judge but I do it anyway, everyone does but I usually judge people's intentions and not their actions.

This guy has been showing me around on how to act and what to do and all that and I appreciate them. I'm just waiting for him to start picking on me like he has on the other mortals. Perhaps I'm still new, hence I have that immunity.

From what I observe though, he also likes to back stab the others. He likes to make a mountain of a molehill to make him look big in the eyes of the bosses. To him, that's his only motive. Others can die for all he cares.

In my opinion, a manager cannot do that. A manager is a middleman between the bosses and the mortals. He has the power and he should not abuse it. He must strike a balance and not be too skewed in his focus.

For instance, one of the drivers made a mistake one morning and he corrected the guy. The matter should close right there but nooo, Ishak just had to bring it up to Ilsa and then George and then Don, one after the other after then.

I don't get it. Doesn't he think about the consequences of his actions? People have families to feed and all. Doesn't he think of the welfare of these people? Why must he muck around with their rice bowls? People make mistakes, sometimes they forget, it's natural. It's human to err. Show me one human being who doesn't and I'll show you a flying shoe.

The bosses like him. To be honest, when they called me upstairs the other day, they actually told me to mould myself like him. In my heart, I squirmed because I know I'm not that sort of person and I'm under a bit of pressure because I know that if I choose to be like me, it's only a matter of time before I get the boot.

But after mulling over it, I relaxed a bit. I just told myself to get over it, get over the past, get over my mistakes, do my best, move on and leave the rest in God's hands. Why worry? No women no cry. I don't owe anyone a living. I'm good and someday things will fall nicely into place for me.

*name has been changed because my cheeseburger is slow

Ubin there, done that

2006-08-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

So it was completely unexpected that I'd be off today but the company hadn't got much orders to fulfil and since I'm pretty much useless, so there.

I worked out with Liana to do something, anything chilled out. I've not had a proper Perth Day for some time now. Jelte and Ann were included but only he made it. She had ooooh... migraine. Ha ha.

Made me think twice about a "happily ever after" ending. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I mean, I want at least four children you know...? LOL!

But I did meet up with her afterwards. Packed some nasi lemak from Changi Village and hand-delivered them to her home for everyone including me. Chatted a bit with Mamu (that's what they call "Uncle" in Pakistan) before we left.

We went to Woodlands for her to send some stuff over to her auntie, afterwhich we went shopping for a bit at the night market next to Causeway Point where I got her a Naruto The Movie DVD, two Mr Bean cartoon VCDs for Mr Ball Ball my nephew and a Masked Rider The Movie VCD for myself just because.

Then we went to Yishun to hand-deliver the Mr Bean VCDs to Mr Ball Ball before we split ways at the train station.

Enough on that. Liana, Jelte and I actually had a great few hours at Ubin. We rented a mountain bike each, cycled to a spot near an old quarry which is now filled with water and had a picnic with the food that mom packed for us earlier when we went over to Yishun to borrow Leita's digicam.

The digicam was for filming Liana and Jelte for their applications to join TV World's Travel and Living.

We did a few takes in between cycling and picnic-ing, had a few drinks at the laid back setting of Ubin which was cool, except for the fact that the government's turned it into another URGH place.

I mean, where did the villages go? Where did the goats and the chickens go? All we saw were dogs wild and tame and one stupid sparrow. We suspect they're gonna turn the island into another commercialized freakshow.

They're screwing with every idyllic spot, dammit. What's up with these people!?

Oh well.

One for the seas

Bye bye mainland Singapore, good riddance!

Relak babe, maintaaain...

Some boring people

We're here!

You can do it now baby, no one's watching

Lai, lai, lai! Don't shy! Curry puff one piece 50 cents!

Hey baby, why do I feel like we're being watched?

Bye bye unblocked-by-highrise-buildings sunset

Hell-#%%^^-o again Singapore

The time has come. I definitely need a new camera. This cheeseburger has served me well but the time has come for me get something faster in between shots, certainly something less chunky and clunky to be lugged around and be slipped into my pocket until needed.

Everything's Ook

2006-08-12T20:29:00.000+08:00

Haha *rolleyes* , my mom got me a stuffed toy gorilla puppet as a belated birthday present.

Very funny mom, very funny. Is she trying to tell me something? I mean, how come Liana got a stuffed cat and I got a gorilla? Grrr.

Ok it's a little dark. These guys were waiting for me on my laptop as I got back from work.
Presenting Ook, my new gorilla on Fish who's suffocating Stinky, Liana's rat and also the other kid on the block, Dunhaf, Liana's new cat who's trying to kill my laptop's mouse next to Fondue, the um, some rodent.

Yay, I've got another animal to sleep with tonight. So significant. One represents me and the other represents... Ahem! ;)

The not so ugly

2006-08-11T21:03:00.000+08:00

I walked into work today pretending nothing happened but I got a real tongue-lashing from the boss' sister, the HR manager, Ilsa the moment she saw me.

She was like, "Waaah... BIG trrrouble man yesterday!"

I was like, "Huh? What happened?" with a smirk on my face.

I know, I know. It's no laughing matter and I do feel sorry for my moment of folly so early into this job but really, my mantra these days is to just chill out. Things will work out if they want to.

I just continued as usual. The tongue-lashing lasted about three minutes coz I didn't let her finish. I grabbed a trolley and pretended to be busy. Ha ha.

But after lunch, the boss himself, Don, called me upstairs.

Not trying to sound macho or anything but I didn't feel anything. I felt numb. I had no expectations. Que sera, sera.

Ilsa was called in too. So it's the three of us.

What happened was both of them, especially Don were just being straight up with me on things in general. They didn't nag at me, talk down to me or even tell me what to do. It's more like a slow tempo buttering and I mostly gave my standard response. Nod, grunt and mumble.

On my performance, they said that I've been good. I don't skive, I have potential, those sort of stuff.

They also acknowledged that I'm slowly picking things up and they understand that despite having much FNB experience that this is my first time in catering so it's natural to feel lost in space. But they also mentioned that I need to pick up my speed.

I've passed the first two weeks despite everything, including the gaffe at the church and now I need to prove my mettle as a leader, coz that's what I'm being hired for.

I accept all that. I know that I've been slow but that's all part of my strategy. I don't wanna walk into the job with all guns a-blazing acting like a hero and all when I know nuts.

My strategy when entering a new job environment has always been to watch, learn and do for the first two weeks at my own pace and then honing what I've learned for the next two and a half months. By the end of three months, I should be good.

Despite everything they said regarding this matter, I'm still sticking to my strategy. Sometimes it's better to act stupid than to act smart. You learn more that way.

About my church gaffe, the standard procedure is for the employees responsible to pay up to make up for the discount given to a customer upon complaint but none of them mentioned about deducting my salary or anything. I hope they wouldn't coz that'd mean all my blood, sweat and tears clocking overtime the past few days would be for nought and that certainly would piss me off. We're talking about $500 odd here!

I was also informed that the reason Phil got sacked was not only because of this issue. Turns out that Don has this little black book going on with all his employees' bad record updated as and when necessary and Phil had chalked up 10.

I now have one of my own. What a way to start! Woo! Ha ha!

In Don's own words, Phil was hopeless and he made sure I heard by repeating himself oh, a few million times.

I know the bosses have high hopes in me but I don't really wanna burden myself with other people's expectations of me anymore. I'm just chill as I go from two weeks ago. Come what may, who cares?

I have my own objectives. I'm actually being paid by the very company that I'm spying on for my own future benefit, which is cool. They have nary a clue. Ho ho ho!

In other news, Max called me earlier to say that SMRT has rejected our application to rent the shop space at Eunos MRT station. Boohoo? Nah!

It's all in God's plan. In God, I trust.

The Bad

2006-08-11T00:31:00.000+08:00

Well the bad thing is I sort of screwed up at work on National Day. Both me and my colleague, Phil.

I actually see the lighter side of it. I'm not sure if I really care. Ha ha.

What happened was a few of us were sent to a church in Hougang to set up eight buffet stations with about six or seven dishes each as well as four drink and dessert stations for 850 people for their National Day function.

It wasn't really a straightforward thing. We were first attended by this lady who gave us instructions on how to do up the thing and were just going about doing our jobs when we got stopped more than one time by other members of the church's organizing committee who wanted things to be done differently.

Simply put, I believe there is a bit of power struggle going on within their committee and everyone wanted to have a say about the way things should be. I don't know about the other guys but I was pissed. I mean, HELLO, we haven't got all evening!

The lady actually whined to me about how she's been organizing this thing for years as compared to the other members and suddenly they wanna show how good they were blah blah blah.

One person wanted the drinks to all be in front, one wanted to put some at the back and some in front, one wanted all the buffet stations to change directions... . I was like, c'mon man, give us a break already, can we settle on anything!?

The lady complained about how the food portion wasn't enough and all. How some of the dishes filled only less than half of the foodpans in the warmers. I mean like, c'mon, hello Houston, do we look like chefs or people in charge of food portioning? We just deliver, set up, go and come back later to collect our stuff.

Obviously the lady wanted to show that she still had stripes among the members so she took it upon herself to come down personally to our office today to lodge a complain about the food portion issue. She also added fuel to the fire to complain about nobody being there last night to clear the mess.

Ok, this is where Phil's and my mistake comes in. We were supposed to standby at the church premises last night but we couldn't stand being at the end of other people's power struggle that we went to have dinner somewhere nearby instead. Besides, we were hungry.

We had a feeling the more we're there the more they're gonna order us to do this and that and this and that just because they wanna display who's more powerful among themselves. It's freaking annoying.

Today I was off but Phil went to work. To fast forward the story, because of the female dog, Phil lost his job. She actually asked for a 10% refund because of the food portioning issue which was none of our business but I guess Phil got sacked because of our disappearing act.

Heh, so maybe tomorrow I'd get the same treatment too. The funny thing is, this is all thanks to one person's pettiness. Sure we disappeared but at most she only had to wait 15 mins. They started eating their buffet some time after 1900hrs and we were back from dinner to clear up at 2000hrs.

And along with Phil and I and our truck, we also had two other trucks and four other people so we made quick work of clearing up.

Curse the female dog! I'd expect people of her standing to have more humility and compassion but I was dead wrong and tomorrow, I'm just dead.

Middle world

2006-08-09T11:04:00.000+08:00

Man, the last few days were just so busy at work. It's the National Day period. Most of our orders are coming from governmental organizations - schools, statutory boards, ministries, etc.

I wanna whine about it but I think back and in actual fact I actually have it easier than all the other guys at work.

The bosses and manager are forever busy planning, planning, planning. I really have no idea how they manage to make sense of everything so quickly. Everyone's so fast, fast, fast I actually see myself like the only guy moving in slow motion in an action movie.

The drivers just know when to prepare what in anticipation of the next few orders. I really admire how they can anticipate things three or four steps in advance while I just stand there and freeze in my own world.

There are the Sabahan (people from Sabah, East Malaysia) attendants, who along with all the other foreigners in the kitchen department, are the most sympathetic group as they work so hard without question to back everyone up for less money and more basic hours.

They do 12 basic hours while us Singaporeans do only nine. Anything on top of these are considered overtime.

The kitchen staff (both cooked food and baking) keep on churning food after food after food for thousands and thousands of people every single day in less than dersirable conditions, I'm like wow. How do they do it?

Me, in short, I just float around. When at our premise, I just pick anything up. I used to give orders to people but now I only take orders. What they tell me to, I do. My favourite food these days is humble pie. It's all I eat.

Whenever our customers ask for service staff, I get sent out, most times with at least one other person, either one other driver or Sabahan attendant. That means I get to stay away from the madness at our premise for as long as the customers require and I don't actually work for the entire duration. There's always a lull period in between setting up and packing up.

Personally though, I've been clocking the overtime hours a lot the last few days. I start at 0700hrs or 0800hrs and only finish at 2100hrs or 2200hrs. Most of the rest of the guys do even more. We're all just so tired.

When we're tired, my colleagues and I do crazy things. We spurt out nonsense, sing to the top of our voices, screeeam out to empty space then exchange high fives and whoops, honk our trucks and shout "Happy National Day!" to every babe we pass by while on the road.

It's necessary insanity.

We got to keep our morale high. We look after one another because none of the top people do. It's understood between us mortal workers that the big boss' only concern is that as long as his stuff gets sent out and money comes in, whatever happens to us doesn't bother him. Even if we don't eat.

So we get by with a little street smarts. We nick some of the customer's food at the buffet table while their events are still on or we eat the leftovers or we steal some time off work to eat someplace. Main thing is we stick together.

I actually belong in that group called the "top people" but I feel more at home being down and dirty with all the mortals.

Calamity Man's birthday pics

2006-08-06T11:27:00.000+08:00

I've got some time so I'm gonna post some of my birthday photos that I stole from Liana over for the sake of people who wanna ogle, like my sister Lilie in Perth.

Is he coming? I can't see.

I can't see too. The door's too low.

There he is!

And there's the cake. Count the number of big and small candles to know the CM's age.

The thumbdrive that Dick got. Haversack and Michelin Man fatrolls are model's own.

Ok, where's the rest of the presents?!

Kiss our butts!

Wang's so ugly we took his face out of the photo ;)

The wrestlers are too lazy to fight and the referee's not helping.

Can barely bear

2006-08-06T10:12:00.000+08:00

I've gone a week without any offday this week and I'm not gonna pretend that I'm not drained out. The thing about me is that whatever I do, my brain starts to shutdown at 2200hrs sharp every night. All my brain cells will queue up and take turns to punch their cards and call it a day.

But last night I managed to boost my morale a little. I told my driver to sneak time off to drop by Holland Village for dinner before we had to hit the road again. We were doing the late shift.

Why Holland V? Coz my cute little kitty kat was there with her brother.

I was mightily uplifted the moment I caught a glimpse of her when our truck passed her by before we found a parking spot. And the moment we got down and when I was only a few metres away from her, I couldn't explain the gush of fuzzy feeling inside of me.

God, she seems to grow more gorgeous by the day even though she's been feeling under the weather for a few days then. Was it because I haven't seen her for almost a week? It's only been a few days. This is one for the X Files.

All I know is that I couldn't pry my eyeballs away from her from the first to the last second of our 30 minute dinner. I wished I could have given her a hug and spun her around but we're not at that stage yet.

We were supposed to meet for dinner tonight but I won't be able to make it as I'm doing the late shift yet again. We plan to go to New York Pizza at Harbourfront when we both have time off work in the coming days. Don't know when that will be though.

My company is all sold out on orders right through September. We're talking about orders for 1700 people, 16400 people and it's gotten to the point where the boss had to arrange to subcontract some orders out to other caterers as well as recall some former workers to return and help out for this period, including the guy whom I was employed to replace.

How weirder can it get?

Calamitinized

2006-08-05T09:35:00.000+08:00

I've finally gotten my new old Toshiba laptop calamitinized, meaning configured to suit my personal needs.

1) Installed the wireless adaptor
2) Installed the printer's driver
3) Installed Firefox web browser
4) Installed Thunderbird email client (always a headache but I figured it out after some trial and error)
5) Installed Sunbelt Counterspy
6) Installed Sunbelt Kerio Firewall
7) Installed Skype

Took me two and a half hours last night to remove redundant programs from my old laptop and defragmentize it so that I'd only leave the skeleton behind and another half hour this morning to personalize everything that I've installed on this beautiful laptop.

So tired after work and all. Barely had enough energy to do all these things last night and as usual, at 2200hrs, my brain just shut down and it's still not fully awake right now.

Ann called while I was in the middle of calamitinizing but I couldn't keep up with our conversation so I had to hang up the phone. We talked again later for a bit and I apologized for my lack of interest to talk earlier.

Zac, my old pal, ol' pal o' mine called as well to find out how I was doing. He's alright. He's been my best friend for the longest duration. His first child, a daughter just arrived a day after my birthday at 0630hrs.

I'm so happy for him and his family. Makes me wonder things about myself. At the rate I'm going, by the time his kid is in college, mine is just starting out in kindy. Lol! There he is with a baby and all while my hormone's still being wasted down the toilet! Hahahahaha!!!

Baby food

System in chaos

2006-08-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

Ok now I'm gonna talk about my new job. Reason why I haven't written about it was because I was short of time but also because I wanted to give myself some time to absorb what was going on.

I've actually been at it for over a week now at this catering company called *Cekik Catering as a supervisor.

Supervisor my pimply ass.

It's a nice enough title for me to tell the world that I'm not some newbie in the FNB industry but the fact of the matter is I'm just a glorified odd job labourer.

That's perfectly fine with me. I've resigned to the fact that I'm stuck for life in this industry in any capacity and I've decided that to obtain some experience in the catering line kinda fits in the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle.

I know the lowest common denominator when it comes to kitchen operations, service operations, outlet management, dealing with statutory boards, Halal matters, etc and now this. It's like the ingredient that links all that I know together and make me complete.

Catering is not like what most people think. It's just like Just In Time Logistics. It's chaos in there. It's a warzone!

The kitchen prepares the food and drinks while the drivers prepares the logistics like tables, cutlery and stuff, all tailor-made to the customers' orders, just about two hours before they're supposed to be sent over.

I'm not a kitchen staff, nor am I a driver. In fact, they don't even need a supervisor coz they already have a team comprising of the manager and the boss' family members to orchestrate the entire operations.

So I make myself useful by filling up all the gaps. That is such a perfect role for a jack of all trades like I am.

Should the customer ask for service staff, I go there and turn on my waiter mode, should they ask for a satay man, I'm there to fan the satays on the pit, if I'm required to just support the drivers, I follow them on their trucks, when I have nothing to do, I just pick up whatever someone's left behind halfway or help anyone who looks like he needs help.

It's back-breaking stuff. My first three days were a torture. Every muscle in my body was utilized, even my eyelashes. My back hurt so bad I questioned myself if I would survive the next year in this job but I'm glad to announce that I've gotten used to it now.

It's chaotic, yet systematic. Everyone knows their role (except me hur hur). I just plug myself in anywhere. My colleagues are mature people. I'm not really into talking about motor-racing, sex romps, which gang they belong to, how many girlfriends and wives they have, blah blah blah.

I wanna talk about real life experiences. About how people raise their kids, keep things running at home on a meagre salary, what business they've been involved in the past... those sort of thing. I've made some cool friends here.

In my short time here, I've been to the Supreme Court, Ministry of Home Affairs, one of the military airbases and soon even the Istana. How many times can I say I've been to these places before? None. But now I have and more. I've seen nothing yet.

My company is hot at the Istana. People who have functions at the Istana, even government organizations order from us all the time. The people at work say it's a pain in the butt setting up events there but I'm sure they're all secretly brimming with pride.

That's all for now. Overshot my bedtime by twenty minutes.

*Name has been changed to encourage the panda population to fornicate